NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY | Narcissist, Co-Parenting, Grey Rock Method, Boundaries, Healing, Toxic Relationship

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Thrive in 5 Anxiety Reset

Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode):
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello Queens. Welcome to your anxiety reset. So if your thoughts are racing, your chest feels tight, or your energy is just all over the place, this is for you. And you don't need to fix everything. You just need to come home to yourself right here, right now, in this moment. So let's just take a few minutes to shift your state. So first, I invite you to place your feet flat on the ground barefoot if you can. And this can be inside your home, or if you want to pause and run outside, maybe behind your house or maybe, hey, if you want to go out into the woods and be free, go do that. But feeling the earth, the ground underneath you wiggle your toes. Now imagine roots growing from the soles of your feet down deep into the floor or earth beneath you. And you can say this out loud or silently, and you can repeat after me. I am supported. I am grounded. I am here.
(01:21)Okay, and take a deep breath as you let your body just land. Now let's do a calming breath pattern. Today. We're going to inhale through our nose for four seconds, and we're going to hold it for two. And exhale for six. So 4, 2, 6. Inhale through your nose. 4, 3, 2, 1. Hold for one, two, exhale, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And you can repeat this three times. Each time you exhale, imagine letting go of another layer of tension. And while you do these breaths, 4, 2, 6, I will speak to you with a little affirmation. So inhale four. With every breath I return to peace. I don't need to rush, I just need to breathe.
(02:41)All right, and we'll finish up our last inhalation and exhalation. Beautiful. Now we open the throat where stress and unspoken emotions, any of you have some of those they love to hide in the throat, right? So let's take a deep breath in, and this time, as you exhale, make a sound. Any sound, inhale could be a sigh, a hum, or a soft ah. Whatever it is, just let your body guide you. It will, you've got to feel free about this. Don't be shy. We're all here together. Let's do that again. Opening the throat, take a deep breath in and exhale, whatever. I sounded like a police siren. Whatever comes out is correct. It's right for you. All right, one more time. As you're inhaling, exhaling, I'm going to speak in affirmation to you. It's safe to let it out. My voice helps me heal. Yes. Now place your hands over your heart and your belly. Gently press in and feel your body rise and fall with your breath. And this time you can do it. If you want to inhale through your nose and out your mouth, that halo breath is my favorite. You're welcome to do that. Or if you just want to breathe at a normal pace or extra deep, whatever feels good for you, and I'm going to speak affirmations over you.
(04:45)I am safe in this moment. I am connected to myself. Peace lives in me. I love that peace lives in me. Let yourself sit in that for just a few more seconds. Peace lives in me. Yeah. How do you feel You did that? Five minutes. One nervous system shift and a powerful reminder. Your body knows the way home. It can find its way home if you give it a little space. If you want more tools like this, don't forget to tune in and follow my podcast. So go poke around. Sometimes they make it hard to find, but it's really important to help you be able to get the notifications every podcast that comes out. But also, do you know, it helps our podcasts, us podcasters, it us actually reach more people. When you hit follow, it helps the algorithm so that I am able to help more amazing queens like you.
(06:08)So if you wouldn't mind for yourself and for me, little Christie, Jade over here, if you could just find that follow button, I would so appreciate it. I'll give you the biggest, biggest air hug ever. And who doesn't want a little nervous system reset and a hug. Right. Alright. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. And I'm so proud of you for taking just these few minutes every Thursday. This is the Thrive in Five. Save these episodes. You can always go back to your favorites to just get a little reset. We all could use it.

He Was Nice… So Why Do I Feel So Broken? The Truth About ‘Good Guy’ Narcissists

Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode):
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello Queens. Do you ever look back and think, well, he didn't cheat, or he didn't hit me, or he didn't X, Y, Z. Fill in the blank. So why do I feel like I'm still healing from a damn war? Let's talk about the nicer narcissists, the ones who smiled while they crushed your self-worth. Yeah, we're going to go there today. Stay tuned. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted.
(01:00)Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. All right, so let's talk about this nice guy or nice girl narcissist. They exist, right? And I have had my own experience with one of them and to the outside world, they are awesome. When you first meet them. They can be very awesome and charismatic and almost overly attentive in a way to you, but they end up as you get closer, and it can happen pretty quickly. As you get closer and more familiar with them and they get you under their thumb or in their spider web, whatever you want to call it, it can really shift and it can be a slow shift, or sometimes it can be a quick shift depending on how much control they feel they have, at what level they have control of you and feel like you're starting to be somewhat dependent.
(02:23)This can be romantic relationship, obviously, but there's also friendships that can be like this, or even boss situation ships, which is, I did have a situation like that where I thought I had the best boss ever until it quickly turned, and so that's a story for another time. But I feel you. I know what it feels like and you're like, they were a good guy, right? Maybe they never even yelled. They didn't lay a hand on you. Maybe they brought you flowers, polite to your friends, said they wanted to whine and dine you. So why do you feel so confused, manipulated, lost, whatever you want to call it. The truth is, just because someone looks and acts kind doesn't always mean they are safe, emotional abuse, isn not about the volume, it's about the control. There's subtle erosion. I'm going to repeat that. It's about control, and there is subtle erosion.
(03:29)Like I said, it can be quick, but usually it's a more subtle erosion unless they really rope you in fast. So that's exactly what the nice narcissists do best. So if you're wondering whether what you went through was bad enough to call abuse, let me tell you this with love, if you feel broken, if you feel like you lost yourself, if you're second guessing, your worth, your memory, right? Are you wondering, did that happen that way? Maybe I'm remembering it wrong. Your reality. That is enough. These covert narcissists, the good guys, they don't throw plates. They throw confusion. Okay? Look, they don't often yell. They withhold, they gaslight, they guilt trip. They charm the room. Like I said, they can be very charismatic and they make you feel like the crazy one. When you get upset, show any emotion, right? So let's break it down. Here are some signs that you were dealing with a nice guy, narcissist, or maybe you're currently in this situation. First of all, they rarely show anger, but you're always the one apologizing, right? So there is that shift of they might not show outward anger, but you always end up apologizing and kind of tiptoeing walking on eggshells.
(05:11)Two, they weaponized guilt, but I was just trying to help you, right? They're weaponizing guilt, and that's similar to three where they play the victim, I do everything for you and you're still not happy. Does that sound familiar? Number four, they're liked by everyone else. So you question your reactions constantly, right? Maybe these covert and over narcissists can often be a popular in communities. They can be leaders, they can be very good people, persons. How do you say that? People, A people person. But they're different with you. And it can be, like I said, that slow, slow erosion, the subtle erosion. So you kind of question yourself like, well wait, everyone else seems to love them, right? But that's very common, even with non narcissists. With abusers in general, they can be, they're not always, they can be abusive and jerks to everybody, but there are many that in the public eye, they're smiling, they're charismatic, they're overly accommodating or kind of love bombing, right?
(06:41)We're just giving compliments or, oh, you're so awesome and valuing people on the outside, but they don't. They go home and probably talk shit about those people and the people they're closest with, whoever is their victim or victims on their inner circle will get the treatment that narcissists give. So number five goes to they never said outright. Maybe they didn't call you names. Maybe they didn't say you're worthless, but you felt worthless in the relationship. So it makes it hard when you're like, well, they never said that. They didn't abuse me with the words, but somehow they made you feel worthless, and that is not on you, and you've got manipulated now to feel like it is maybe in your head or you question yourself, or you go back to that whole, am I remembering right? You are honey. You're remembering just perfectly your truth.
(07:46)Okay? So let's be clear here. Emotional safety, feeling safe in your emotions, in your body is not about how someone acts in public. It's about how you feel in their presence behind closed doors, and that's important. I definitely have had clients where it's very confusing to them where they feel like I must be the crazy one. No, they're acting different to you, but it's in a subtle way. It's not blatant. So you're questioning it. Don't question it. So you're not dramatic, you're not broken. You are conditioned to doubt yourself. Conditioning is a very important word in the narcissistic world. I say it a lot throughout, especially my recent podcasts, I've noticed because that word is a good one. If you're not familiar with get familiar with it, maybe you weren't outright physically harmed. Maybe they did not, like I said, scream at you, curse at you, but they manipulated and calculated and conditioned you to doubt yourself slowly and subtly, and that's why it's so hard to name A lot of the times it was slow. It is slow and subtle so much that you don't even catch it. So this healing journey from this specific type of narcissist is especially tricky, right? It's no easier because your brain was trained conditioned to justify their behavior. I want to say that again because this is a through line. With anyone going through narcissistic abuse in general, your brain was trained to justify their behavior.
(09:53)Also, your heart still misses the version of them they gave you maybe in the beginning, maybe the version of them that lives in the public eye that you wanted it them to be. That's a version. Guess what? It's a fake version. It's not reality. I know that sucks. You can't do X, Y, Z to make them be that way. That is not them. The true them that their inner circle, their victims will see is the version you got, and your body holds the trauma even when your mind keeps saying, but they were so nice or they did do this to me, right? I mean, let's point that out. There are highs and lows with these people. There's the more subtle lows than with the other types of narcissists that are more outward. But your body is remembering those parts, and your mind is trying to fight with your body.
(11:08)Like, oh, wait, oh wait, because you've been conditioned, right? So what do I love to do? Come on in class. Anyone? Anyone? Yes, you in the back? Yes. Listen to the body. The body speaks very loudly. If you let it and you listen, I'm going to say it again. The body speaks very, very loud and clear. When you actually let it and you listen, not when you have your mind, shut it down. Not when you feel your life with so much busyness and chaos that you're continuing, you're used to chaos and you continue the cycle. Even if you're away from the narcissist, you may still have a chaotic life because you're so used to it and you don't know what to do When you actually sit still and let your body, let your soul, let the silence let you speak. Sometimes it's scary to do that because there's trauma in there and it's not fun.
(12:19)But let me correct that. Okay, I'm Christie. Hello. I do somatic healing. Do you know this about me? And we actually, it can be a little intense, right? I'm not going to lie, but we can have fun too. I try to make this a fun empowering journey for you guys. So if you want to sign up for somatic healing, which is healing the body because it remembers and you want actual long term help where you are rewriting things and your body is actually releasing all of this, sign up. I have a link always in my description box of my podcast to sign up for somatic healing session. So it can be an enjoyable, empowering journey. It doesn't have to be dark and scary, okay? I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't let that happen. I keep you safe, and I do titration, which if you don't know what that is, you might if you're in the science world, but that is really going very slowly back and forth to make sure you are totally comfortable in every single session, every step of the way you will be taken care of.
(13:39)We're not going to retraumatize you. We're not going to let you go in a deep, dark hole. That is not the point. We are going to slowly heal the shit out of you. How's that sound? All right, I sidetracked there a second. So let's get back to it and wind things down. Here's what I want you to do. Step one, well sign up. Sign up for somatic healing with me. That will, I mean, I may be biased, but that will definitely help. But step one, besides that, validate yourself. Start saying it out loud. That was emotional abuse. Saying it out loud has helped me in my journey. And writing things down too, like putting pen to paper, saying it out loud to the world. That was abuse, that was emotional abuse. That clarity can be very, very powerful if you have not done that yet.
(14:36)Step two, you can track the patterns. Notice what you excused, what you believed, what you ignored, not shaming yourself. Look, we're not going to judge past us. No, no, no, ma'am. We want you to be aware to what? To just help yourself in the future. I don't want you to beat yourself up. I hear this so much with clients. I wish I would've seen this. I wish I would've done that. Well, guess what, Susie? We got to move forward. We're not going to live in the past, okay? We have this one life. I'm not going to let you focus on what you could have, should have, would've. We can all do that all day long. That's no fun either. Okay? So eat some chocolate cookies. Notice what you excused, what you believed, what you ignored, and decide what you don't want to do in the future, in your future relationships, whether it be romantic or friendships, right?
(15:34)What you're going to tolerate, what you're not going to tolerate, and do not be judgmental to the past, previous you. Be an encourager of yourself just like you would a friend, right? Step three, rebuild yourself. Trust. Ooh, that's a stinger. Self-trust is such a big word for narcissistic abuse survivors. It is hard to trust yourself after you've gone through something. You're like, how the hell when you're on the other side? And it depends where you are in your journey, but if you're on the other side, sometimes you get to a certain point. You're like, now, if I let that happen, all that happen, and now I have these kids and this, and there's a divorce, and there's that all this nonsense, you're so upset with yourself, it's hard to trust yourself again. So you have to start with small decisions. Say no when you may know.
(16:34)Say yes to your needs, because building time for you can actually build self trust because you are getting acquainted with yourself again, right? We're reclaiming you. So start small. Just start small with small decisions. Even just what do I want? Do I want that chocolate chip cookie? Hell yeah, I do. And eat the chocolate chip cookie and say, I really like chocolate chip cookies, right? Maybe your ex didn't let you eat cookies. Christie's here to say, eat the damn cookie. Okay? And step four, back to Somatic Christie over here. Get support, right? This could be a therapist. This could be me. I love helping women like you, obviously. That's why I'm here. I love doing this podcast. I love being able to create space for people who feel so confused and lost and give them some sort of clarity and guidance. I love it. But when I get to work one-on-one with you guys and impact you and watch, oh, it's the most amazing feeling to watch my clients go from just, how do you describe it?
(17:54)This just lost, stuck, this stuckness, this loss, confusion, judgment on themselves. All the feelings you're going through, and to be able to be with you on the journey. And we get to heal. I get to help you heal and you heal yourself. How empowering that is that you get to do that. And when you're on the other side, I mean my clients, when they are on the other side, the holy shit moments and the amount of people who have said, I can't believe I am where I am now. I never would've thought that happened. And usually that's also saying, I can't believe that happened so quickly. People think, oh God, this is going to take a lifetime to undo the damage. No, it's not. Ma'am. We move quickly. My best friend doesn't call me Bunny for no reason. Okay? Again, I titrate to make sure you're comfortable.
(18:59)But it's one of those things where when you go slowly and you do it the right way, you zoom out. It's actually a lot quicker than you would think. Hard to explain until you do it. So sign up for a session. Alright? So take two minutes today and ask where did I lose myself to keep the peace? Where did I lose myself to keep the peace? We might be surprised what comes up. So if this hit home for you, please, first of all, sign up for a session with me and send this to a friend who might be quietly struggling or loudly struggling. If you know anyone else that could use help with this type of relationship, situationship, whatever, please forward this to them. And of course, I always have My Empowered Boundaries course. I will link that as well. That's at your own pace.
(19:56)You purchase the course and each week a new video drops, and that's 10 weeks, 10 videos, and you have a lifetime access to it if you really have a tough time with setting boundaries. But today, I feel like we're really also focusing on that healing from the body. So sign up for the one-on-one session. You're not alone, you're not crazy. I am here and I would love to help you. Just because he didn't scream or curse or hit you, doesn't mean you didn't suffer. And just because you're not bleeding on the outside doesn't mean it was not abuse. You are powerful. You are worthy when you say that I am worthy. Yeah, you're reclaiming your peace. One truth, that's your truth, right? Not their truth. Your truth. One truth at a time. Alright, until next episode we have every Thursday we have the Thrive in five, where I do some type of somatic healing, breath work, meditation, visualization, all the fun, every Thursday, little shorter episodes to keep you grounded. So make sure you follow my podcast so you get the notifications of the new episodes that pop up. I'm Tuesdays and Thursdays and stay royal because he's the Queen. Alright, see the next one.
 

Lost Yourself in the Narcissist’s Chaos? Reconnect in Just 5 Minutes

Feel like you’ve lost yourself in the chaos of narcissistic abuse?In this 5-minute reconnection ritual, you’ll ground your body, clear your mind, and start remembering you.You’re not broken—you’re buried. Let’s bring you back.
 
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode):
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello Queen. If you've been walking around feeling like a stranger in your own life, this one is for you. So after narcissistic abuse, it is normal to feel lost. That is a very common thing because you have been surviving, you've shape shifted, you've been silencing your own needs, but underneath it, you are still there. That's the good news. You're there and you got a shiny gold crown. So today we're going to reconnect back to her fast, fierce, and focus. That's why it is thrive in five. Okay? Ain't, ain't nobody got time for all that noisy narcissist.
(00:45)Welcome to your Thursday. Thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. Alright, so let's kind of shake the day off. Shake any emotions you have around this relationship, shake it off. That can be through your arm shaking. Maybe you shake your legs out, shake your feet. Alright? And if you feel safe, you can close your eyes or just have a steady gaze focusing on one spot in the room. Maybe feel your feet on the floor or if you're sitting, laying down wherever your body is, meeting the support. Now breathe in through your nose. Slow and deep exhale out of your mouth. This is a halo breath. It's my favorite one to just calm the nervous system. So we're inhaling. And you can imagine light, a beautiful, warm white light entering your body through your nose. And as you exhale, release the fog, the confusion, that noise of the narcissist and any relationship you have with them. Okay, in with the light, releasing the noise one more time in with the light. Hold it at the top and release. Really exhale, getting rid of every last drip drop of that nasty noise. Okay, so I invite you to place your hand on your heart and repeat after me. I am still here.
(02:50)I may have been silenced, but I was never erased. Go. Good. Every breath brings me closer to my truth. Beautiful. So we're going to do a quick visualization. Imagine yourself as a glowing outline, whatever color you wish, a glowing outline, dimmed but intact, fully intact, dimmed with each breath. And you can do again, the halo breath in through the nose, out the mouth, or whatever you're comfortable doing with each breath. Light fills in your outline, making it brighter, making it stronger, making it whole. That's your soul. It's not gone. It's just waiting. And she's ready. So imagine breathing in and exhaling. And each breath, just imagine this beautiful light filling every part of inside of your glowing outline.
(04:19)Go at your own pace. This is your light. This is your journey. This is you 2.0, baby, you ready? In and out. Wonderful. Now you don't have to find yourself. You are remembering yourself. And maybe you don't remember if you had childhood abuse where maybe you were dimmed at a young age and you don't even remember you were still there, which is very young. You are returning to yourself and every time you pause, you breathe and reconnect like we're doing today. You reclaim a piece of that power, of your power. You're not lost. You're coming home. Now, let's say that again. I'm coming home. Repeat after me. I'm coming home. How does that feel in your body? I am coming home. You get to be your own home. That is the most empowering thing in the world. When I started my journey, I remember I started to refer to my home like myself as my home. And it's so empowering. This is your home. This is your safety. And even if you don't quite feel there yet, keep doing these visualizations. Keep doing the work. Save some of these thrive in fives to come back to, because the more you do these, you are getting back to that part of you, right? That power. You're not lost, you are coming home.
(06:28)I hope this short visualization, meditation, whatever you want to call it, helped give you a little reset. And this should be a reminder to you that you are doing the work, you are taking the time out because you're still in there and you know can get back. You can to her. She's waiting for you. So I'm very proud of you and you should be proud of yourself. So let's all give ourselves an extra little hug. I'm hugging myself too. I did it. Look at me. Okay? I'm so proud of you. And don't forget to save these thrive in fives. They are wonderful to go back to whenever you feel like it could be. First thing in the morning while you're brushing your teeth, you don't have to be laid out on a bed.
(07:29)Anything is better than nothing when it comes to doing the mindset work, the body work, any of this. Okay? I am so excited you're doing this for yourself, and I'll see you in the next episode. That's your Thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your peace like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment. And check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.

Feel Like You’ve Lost Yourself? How Narcissistic Abuse Steals Your Identity And How to Reclaim It

Feel like you’ve lost yourself after narcissistic abuse? You’re not alone — and you’re not broken. In this episode, we’ll unpack how the narcissist slowly erased your identity and walk through simple, empowering ways to start reclaiming your voice, your choices, and you. 💛👑
 
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode):
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Queen , you look in the mirror and wonder where you went. You hear your voice, barely recognize it. You've got fears, you've got doubts after Narcissistic abuse. Feeling like you have lost yourself is common, but it's not a weakness. It is a symptom of survival. But you are not gone. You are not broken. You're just buried beneath all the schleppy nippy. That's a word I did make up just now. But all the ways you had to stay small to stay what safe. So today we're going to start calling you that U2 0.0 back. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free.
(01:10)I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. All right, beauties. It's Christine. Today we're talking about something so many survivors carry quietly that aching feeling of being lost like you are floating through your own life, disconnected from who you used to be. Maybe some of you never even got to become fully that person or who you were supposed to become, but it's not too late. But I do hear this all the time. I hear I want to feel like myself again.
(02:13)I don't even know what I like anymore. I used to be joyful. So fun, that sparkle that we talk about. Where did it go? If you've ever thought those things, this episode is for you. So let's start off with how narcissistic abuse steals your identity. Okay? It isn't just emotional manipulation, this abuse, it is psychological erasure. Bit by bit. The narcissist dismissed your opinions, controlled your choices. They're always trying to gain control or see if they can get it back. So they're controlling your choices, criticizing. When you do have a moment that you may have an interest or something outside of what they're telling you to do, they will criticize it. So criticizing your interests, mocking your emotions. Oh, you're so dramatic. You're so sensitive and making you doubt your intuition, that gut feeling. They twist and turn things and manipulate so you doubt your truth until suddenly you stopped choosing.
(03:33)You stopped expressing. You started shrinking just to avoid the conflict, the rejection or the ever present rage of a narcissist. And over time, your nervous system learned this. Maybe it's safer to disappear. Seacrest out. I'm picturing that meme of, what is it? Homer, going back into the bushes, like reversing into the bushes. That little not meme, the gif, right? Maybe it's safer to just disappear back here, but disappearing is not what you are supposed to be or do, right? You're a queen after all. Okay? So that little light inside you, that sparkle, it's there and we're going to brighten it up. It just got dimmed, but we're here to reignite that. Let's throw some gas on that sparkle. Okay? So how do we do that, Christy? We're going to talk about three ways to start reclaiming you. So no pressure, first of all, and no perfection. But these are some things you can start doing little by little. So first, rebuild micro preferences. You're going to start small, ridiculously small. That's what you can handle right now. You have to build up. That's okay. Things like what's your favorite color? Now, it could be that simple. I literally have had more than one client when I've asked, what's your favorite color? They're like, I don't know. And then it can feel really disconnected, right? What music do you actually love?
(05:23)Do you like your egg scrambled or poached? What's your favorite movie? What do you want your room to look like? And you might feel overwhelmed. So start with the color. What color do you want your room? What colors do you want in your room? Just get a throw pillow to start, right? You're gradually building your micro preferences up. You'd be amazed how much of your identity lives in the details you stopped choosing. So ask yourself, is this what I want? Not what they wanted, what you want, what do you want? Okay, number two, talk to the before you. And this is for those of you who had aversion before this, right? If you had some childhood stuff where you had been dismissed and put down, this may not apply directly to you, but you can see, but this is especially for the people who got into relationships later in life and lost themselves. So think back to the version of who you were before. The abuse. What did she love? What made her light up? Even as a kid? Now ask, what did she need that she did not get?
(06:50)And here's where you can have fun work. Write her a letter, reintroduce yourself. Let her know you are coming back for her. And this time you're listening, you want to hear her and her preferences. Okay? So that's kind of a fun one, right? We get to do a tangible thing, write a letter. What did she need that she didn't get? What made her light up? Put it all out there. There's no right or wrong. There's no limit. You could do one page, you could do 40 pages. Number three, create yes and no lists. So if you're familiar with my work, that's how we always start with my one-on-one clients. And even in some of my groups, we do the hell yes, hell no. So you can start this. We go into it in a major way. That's amazing. But you can start small, okay? You have two lists on one piece of paper.
(07:57)You could start if you want to start small, right? Hell yes. On the top of one side, hell no on the top of the other. The yeses are the things that light you up. The nos are the things that drain you or disrespect you. This becomes your compass. It's how you begin to choose on purpose. Say that I want to choose on purpose. Say it. I want to choose on purpose. And each choice brings your power back, even if it's a small one, right? So think of something right now. Think of something that you just love. Let's say your ex didn't like you to eat a certain flavor of ice cream. He always just wanted his and didn't let you get yours, and you'd love mint chocolate chip ice cream.
(08:53)Write that on your list and want you to get you some this week, right? That's a simple, maybe silly thing, but it is a real thing. I listen to you guys, I hear all the stories. I know there are people who controlled you to the point that you couldn't even choose your own toothpaste, right? So go get that bubble gum flavor, toothpaste, and then the hell no things that drain you. I've got one. I've got one for you guys. I know some of you can probably relate. I have definitely had clients who can relate because of how we've been conditioned. We often feel like we need to be there for everybody and always be available, stuff like that. So one of my big ones that's on my hell no list is long phone conversations or answering the phone every time it rings. Stuff like that.
(09:48)You might be able to relate to that. That's draining. Especially if it's someone who's complaining or having a lot going on in their life. No offense to them, but you got your own shit. You got your own life. So you can either not answer or you can get on the phone and say, I have five minutes to talk. I got to be somewhere or do something. That's okay. That's build these lists. So you're knock on, you're right here. And these are some things that can help. There's plenty more. And if you work one-on-one with me, obviously we can customize your strategy there. So if you're feeling lost, if you're mourning the version of you that used to laugh more, sing louder, feel freer, please hear me. You did not lose her. She got quiet. She hid to essentially survive in one way or the other, but she's still here.
(10:43)And every single choice you make to show up for yourself could be small, could be big. You could say no when it's a no, say yes, when your soul lights up. Every time you do that, it's proof that you are coming home to you, to her. So you don't need to rush your healing. You don't need to have all the answers right now, but I promise if you stay on this path of truth true to you and self-love, you will find her again. She is not gone. And when you do, girl, she going to be so shiny and gold and sparkly. I am so proud of you. I'm walking this journey with you. Until next time, keep reclaiming that crown.

Obsessing Over the Narcissist? Here’s a 5-Minute Mind Reset to Stop The Mind Racing

SAVE THIS EP! Still stuck in your head about the narcissist? In this 5-minute Thrive in 5, I’ll walk you through a quick but powerful nervous system reset to stop the obsessive thoughts and bring you back to peace—fast.
You’ll get:✅ A calming breathwork drop-in✅ 3 truth statements to interrupt the spiral✅ A soothing visualization to reclaim your clarity
Because you deserve peace—not mental chaos. 👑
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions :
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course : https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Still obsessing over what the narcissist said, did or maybe didn't do. Feel like your brain won't shut up and your peace is always just out of reach. Queen, you are not crazy and you're definitely not alone in today's thriving five. We're doing a quick nervous system reset to stop that mental spiraling and get you back to your calm ground itself, even if you've not met her. Alright, let's take your power back starting now. Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath, queen, this one's for you.
(00:51)All right, beauty. If you have been stuck in a loop, replaying conversations, wondering why, feeling like you cannot let go, this is for you. Obsessive thoughts are actually a trauma response, not some personality flaw. So the brain clings to the pain because it's trying to solve it. But today, we're not solving everything we are soothing in this quick episode. So first, let's just drop in together. Place your hand over your heart and one on your belly if that feels good to you. Now you can either close your eyes or just soften your gaze and let's breathe together in through the nose. Inhale for four, holds for two, exhale for 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Again, inhale for four, hold for two, and exhale for 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Letting those shoulders drop, let your jaw soften your eyebrows, release any stress, and quietly say to yourself, repeat after me. I am safe in this moment, I'm allowed to stop thinking about them.
(02:43)Peace is mine and I'm reclaiming it now. Beautiful. So let's speak some truth to that lovely old heart of yours. Loud and clear. Okay, thinking about it over and over won't change what happened, right? It's not going to change anything, and this is something that has definitely helped me just stopping and saying, you know what? Thinking about it isn't fixing it. You've already survived it. Now we have chosen freedom, which feels a heck of a lot better. Even if we get these obsessive thoughts, sometimes they will get less and less and we can speed that up, that process up by doing exercises like this. Number two, they are not worth my energy today, right? They're not. Energy is your currency. We have a short time here on Earth, so we're going to spend it on you, not them. You deserve that. Whether you totally feel that or not.
(03:59)You do. I'm telling you, and I'm the smartest queen ever. Just kidding. Just kidding. Okay. Number three, we don't need closure from them, right? You can say, I am the closure. It's in you. We talked about this recently. I am the closure, their apology, whatever you might expect. We did a couple of episodes on apologies recently, right? Their apology is not going to heal you, but your own voice will. So let those settle in, right? Thinking about it is not going to change it. They are not worth your energy and you don't need closure from them. You are the closure. Alright, so we're going to do a quick visualization here. So again, you can have your eyes open close, but for me, I love closing them, but it's all up to you. Imagine yourself standing on a rocky shoreline and the waves are crashing, loud, chaotic, just like those obsessive thoughts that go through your mind.
(05:17)But now picture yourself turning around and behind you is a forest trail. It's quiet, it's peaceful. Sun is filtering through the trees. You take a step away, away from the chaos, then another step and another. So with each step that crashing gets softer and softer. Now, it's far behind you in the getting more and more quiet. You're stepping. You're stepping again. Now it's silent and you feel that warm glow of the sun on your skin, on your face. Breathe it in smile. Feel that. Feel that difference in what you chose to do to walk away from the chaos. This is your nervous system at peace. This is what you get to return to any time you choose or want to. Anytime you did that in just a few minutes, you took your power back from the obsessive loop. That's not small. No small potatoes here. That's a huge potato.
(07:06)If this resonated, first of all, save it. Okay? Save this visualization if it worked and helped you just feel calmer for a few moments and you can sit in this meditation as long as you want. You can pause it as you listen to it and stay there and enjoy the quiet and the peace. And also, if this worked, maybe it will help someone who needs that reminder too, who needs to be able to reset their nervous system because you're not alone and you don't have to spiral in silence again. You got me and you've got your friends trusted ones, right? So you're not alone in this.
(08:05)All right? I will see you in the next episode. That's your Thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your piece like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment, and check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.

You Blocked the Narcissist... Now They’re Losing It (Let’s Talk About Why)

Blocked the narcissist and now they’re spiraling? Good. That’s not drama — that’s proof you took your power back. In this episode, we break down why they react that way, how to protect your peace, and why holding the line is your biggest win yet. 👑🔥
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode):
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
TRANSCRIPT
All right, you finally blocked the narcissists. No more texts, no more dms, no more access to your beautiful energy. And now what? Though? They are spiraling. Suddenly you're the villain. They may be stalking your socials, blowing up mutual friends or family members, and maybe even running a full-blown smear campaign, which I have been on the other end of. And it's not fun, but it is very common with narcissists, right? So if you don't know what a smear campaign is, it is basically imagine them just badmouthing you to anyone and everyone. They can really for a reaction from you. But two birds with one stone, they get to also make you look bad to other people. But what I want you to remember today, this chaos, the rage, it means you took your power back and that is the win. So let's break it all down in this episode.
(01:02)Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up.
(02:00)Hey, queen, it's Christie. And today we're talking about what happens when you do the bold, brave thing and you actually block the narcissist. You hit the button, you silence the chaos. You close that portal to all of their icky manipulative games, right? That's such freedom. But now they're losing it, right? Often they will come back stronger and harder, and this can be a scary part of the process. I've been through it. It happened, usually does. So it's very expected. We'll talk about why, but it's also a big old, beautiful neon sign saying You did the right thing. Why do these narcissists spiral after you block them? This is, I don't know. This helps me just sit with all of it and be super clear. And I don't know. When I learned about all of this, it did help me feel better in this situation. Number one, I've talked about this.
(02:59)The narcissist doesn't want you. What do they want? Class control over you. It's all about the control. It's about the access, the option to push your buttons, rile you up. They like that. I know. Not cool, but at this point, you probably know that they want the supply. That's my favorite word, having to do with narcissists, because that's all they want. The supply with the control, your reactions, your emotions, your attention, that feeds them. So when you block them, you are taking their drug away. You're cutting off the hit. And for a narcissist that is panic mode, which can look like different things. So there can be sudden rage, right? There could be rage, just, oh my gosh. Let's say you blocked 'em on the phone. Then they, but not the social media. They might come over in your social media, they might show up at your house.
(03:59)They might get through a friend, get some message to you, and they may be ragey or love bombing attempts. They might call, and I've had this experience too, from new phone numbers or new emails. I had a narcissist create a whole new profile just to contact me. It also might look like those smear campaigns. This is very, very, very common because this is an easy access way. Sometimes narcissists can be lazy. So instead of having to go to the efforts of creating new this or that, they're like, well, we have mutual friends. We have mutual family. I'm already talking to, I'm going to, basically, they will make up stuff about you. Twist things into totally different situations, badmouth you, make your mutual friends and family turn against you. There's also the lurking. I have a public profile. Let's say TikTok. I can see right people.
(05:09)I can see who is viewing my stories or my reels. So you might be in a situation like that where they are lurking. They might drive by your place, get those cameras in order. Another thing is guilt tripping or using flying monkeys, their they're little puppets to check in for them. So again, there's a lot of different ways that they will try to get closer to you. So this isn't proof. You hurt them. It's proof you are healing you. So let's flip the script. You might think, wow, they really must care if they're reacting this much. No, no. They care that they've lost their freaking grip. Their ego is bruised. This whole illusion of control is shattered. They cannot stand it, but that isn't love. So I want you to be very, very clear. Some of you already know this and you just want them out.
(06:15)Some of you are going, are they trying so hard? Because I'm so special and there's a special bond between us and they love me so much. This is a character trait of love and passion. No, this is entitlement. This is their bruised ego being very upset. Don't confuse their chaos with care for you. This reaction is not a sign of your worth. I'm sorry. You're beautiful, you're awesome, you're worthy, but this is not a sign of your worth. It's a sign of your growth, right? You are growing away from them and they can't stand it again, not because of you, but because of their need for control and that supply that you were giving them at some point, and now you're not. And they're very upset about it. So how do you protect your peace and stay in that zone? How do you get basically unshakeable? So the number one advice I always love to give, as you know, is no responding. Not even once they wait. They wait for that crack in the door, even a leave me alone. Text is supply for them. Silence is your best weapon. It is your best weapon against the chaos.
(07:41)And you can have a beautiful visualization of this picture, a lot of chaos, and then silence next to each other. Doesn't it make sense that the best weapon against that would just be silence and calm? So no responding, not even a little, not a thumbs up, not an okay, nothing. Don't even say leave me alone. Number two, tighten up all those digital and energetic boundaries. So make sure your mutual friends are not passing any information along. And this again, has happened to me in my own family. You have to ask people, please do not give information about me. Cut it off. You are the one with that control. And if you can't trust that person, then you don't tell them information. You don't want to be shared. And if they cross your boundaries, that middle person, I mean, sorry. Bye. I am quick to get rid of someone who does not respect my boundaries.
(08:43)So remove them if you have to from your socials, block them and keep the narcissist obviously blocked everywhere. That's phone, that's email, that's all your socials. And reaffirm why you block them in the first place. Revisit the journal. Maybe you journaled about it, right? Or maybe you need to make a journal entry about it that you can go back to when you're feeling bad or guilty about blocking them. Write down how they made you feel. I'm not talking just saying I felt sad or I felt scared. I want you to write the visceral reactions. Your body, this feeling. I felt tight in my chest. I felt terrified to the point I was shaking. I felt like I could barely talk. My tight and my neck was so tight. Let that be your fuel as a reminder of just how impactful this is on not just your mind but your body and support yourself like crazy.
(09:46)Be your own B, f, F. Listen to the podcasts, meditate. Do that. Nervous system work. I'm all about somatic healing. I will pop my link in the description. If you would like to sign up for a session. I'm telling you, it is epic. You want to talk about resetting your nervous system from the body, not just talk. Therapy is amazing. I'm a big advocate. Obviously I do coaching myself and mindset work, but when you go from the body girl, it's a whole different thing. And lean on safe people who get it, not the mutual friends that still talk to this person. Okay, I'm sorry, that ain't it. You need to lean on safe people that are going to uplift you, validate your feelings, and give you hugs and pink sprinkle donuts. Okay, speaking of which, can I just tell you how amazing the people in my life that I have now are compared to when I wasn't choosing so well?
(10:49)I have these new friends in my life, and I'm bringing this up because this is a part of narcissistic abuse. You can attract controlling people or people who don't want you to shine. And since I'm later in my healing journey, and I have found some amazing friends, my dad passed last week, that was so hard. The amount of people that I've recently met, really quality, uplifting, amazing people, how they've shown up, I said pink sprinkled donuts, because one of my best friends brought me my favorite Krispy Kreme donuts, right? My friend showed up yesterday with flowers and a wind chime that had something related about death on it. And she also brought me a donut tea towel for the kitchen and just was like, let's chat. These are people that I have chosen very intentionally later in my life after realizing I wasn't choosing people, they were choosing me. And with narcissistic abuse recovery, you want to make sure you're choosing and you're choosing well, people that are really good, solid, uplifting, positive influences in your life. So little side note, just a side note. Someone needed to hear that, right? Alright, so let's get to this pep talk. I love a good pep talk and maybe we'll do an extra pep talk on Thursday related to this. Maybe a longer one, but I want to just leave you with this. You're not the villain. You are the queen warrior.
(12:27)You're not wrong for blocking them. You're not mean. You're not dramatic or sensitive. Repeat that one, please. I am not dramatic or sensitive. That's right. You're not. You are freeing yourself from manipulation and you are choosing peace over that chaos. You're not the villain in their twisted story. Their truth isn't even their truth. Their story isn't even true, the truth. And essentially, you are the hero in your healing journey. And that might sound like cheesy, but really you're saving yourself right now. Do you get that? Do you get how big that is? You are saving yourself. And if you have kids, your kids, you are breaking this cycle. So you are a hero in your own healing journey. And guess what? Every time you don't respond or you block or you get that, just no more, you've reclaimed another piece of your power. Every time you stay, no contact and don't let that door creak open.
(13:46)Your nervous system gets safer and calmer every time you choose, you win. Say that again. Every time I like how I'm talking myself, I'm like, say it again, Christie. Every time you choose you, you win. So their spiral is not your responsibility, their pain, their panic, their stories, not yours to hold anymore. Block, bless, keep healing forward. I am so proud of you. You are fierce, you are brave, and this is unshakeable. You hold onto this and you stay in your truth, not their fake shit out there. Okay? So until next time, Thursday, we have our Thrive in five. Stay in your power. Make sure to follow my podcast so you get the little notifications that are like Chris, do at it again, every Tuesday and Thursday. Tuesdays are my longer episodes. And then we have our Thrive in five, which are basically somatic healing. That could be breath work, that could be meditations, visualizations, affirmations. I did a prayer last week about my father that I hoped could also help anyone else grieving just for a hard situation. Okay? So just some examples. So definitely follow the podcast. I'd love you to join my Facebook community, and I will talk to you in the next episode.

In Memory of My Dad: A Prayer for Grief , Peace and Strength in Hard Times

Well you know I like to be raw. This is a raw one. I lost my dad last night. The pain is horrific. But I wanted to still show up for you and for me and recorded a quick prayer. I felt like we can all always use a prayer, especially in the dark times.
Please keep my father and family in your prayers and make sure your loved ones know how much you love them. I was able to have so much peace knowing he knew how much I loved and cared for him and nothing was left unsaid. 
XO-Christy

Stop Waiting for Closure: Why the Narcissist Won’t Give It (and How to Create Your Own)

Still waiting for the narcissist to give you closure? In this episode, we break down why they can’t — and why you don’t need them to. Join me for 10 minutes of truth + empowerment as we walk through how to create your own closure and finally reclaim your peace. 💛👑
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions:
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
Cord Cutting Episodes:
Deep Cord Cutting: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-attached-to-the-narcissist-this-deep-cord/id1662241353?i=1000708306120
Quick Cord Cutting: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-energetically-tied-to-the-narcissist-cut-the/id1662241353?i=1000706789155
TRANSCRIPT:
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Still waiting for that apology, that explanation, the moment when the narcissist finally admits they were wrong. Here is the hard truth queen. It's probably never coming. But the even better truth, we like this one. You don't need their closure because you can create your own. You may not feel like that right now, but I promise you can. So let's dive in and talk about how have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back while you're in the right place. Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and drive ice and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted.
(01:06)Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. All right, welcome back. It's Christie. Today we are tackling one of the biggest pain points in narcissistic abuse, recovery closure. So many survivors feel stuck in this loop of waiting. Even if you are out of the relationship, waiting for the narciss to explain why they did what they did, waiting for an apology that actually feels like an apology or waiting for some acknowledgement that you mattered, that you were valuable to them. And I'm here to tell you closure for narcissist is a myth. Why? Well narcissists operate from this place of ego, not accountability. And this is very important. Pause this and write this down if you can. If you're driving, save this episode and come back to this and write it down because I really think this next statement is very important.
(02:37)They rewrite history to protect their false self, not to give you peace. They rewrite history to protect who? Them and their false self. They're not caring about your peace. So closure, it's not about you. They don't care to that level to help you get closure. Why can't they give closure? Let's break it down to the nitty gritty. Narcissists don't take true responsibility. I think most of us know that, but that's just a fact, right? Admitting fault is like death to their ego and they thrive on their ego. Their ego is their identity. So they are not about to go be vulnerable in any way and shine any sort of light on them being responsible or at fault for anything. They often will blame shift gaslight or even flip the script. So you are the bad guy. I mean, how often We are very familiar with the bad guy, right?
(03:55)The bad guy. Flip if you have been with a narcissist and whatever, if it's a sibling, if it's a parent, if it's a romantic partner, if it's a friend, you have been flipped to be the bad guy and they may give fake closure like an apology we talked about recently in the recent episodes on apology. Or they might give a fake explanation, but why do they do it? Usually just as bait to pull you back in. They know their lip service will get you back. So even when you think if I just explain one more time or if I just wait until they calm down, no, you're asking someone to give what they cannot or will not give.
(04:56)So how do you create your own closure? This is the important part. I know the other part's kind of hard sometimes to digest and to really let that sink in and act accordingly. But this part is really important for your healing. The good news is you don't need them. You have the power to create your own closure without them starting today. Tao, what was that from? Do you remember that Tao? Oh no. Message me on Facebook or Instagram, if you remember what that's from. It's like one of those, do you have those little folders that pop open in your brain and you're like, I know that. I know that. Where did it come from? And you can't really put your finger on exactly what and then you just shove it back in and continue. Okay, that was my a DD squirrel brain. We're back though.
(05:48)Alright, so here is how, and if you forgot, because I went off on that tangent. We're talking about how to create your own closure. First name, the truth, not their story. There is a huge difference between the truth and a narcissist truth. Write down what you know happened, not what they claim, not their excuses, not their blame. You want an example? Okay, they lied to me repeatedly. I felt discarded, devalued. You don't need them to agree with your reality, your truth. Your truth is valid. Okay? You know the truth. They lied. They gaslit you. They flipped every damn argument to make you look like the bad guy. Okay? So write it down. Name the truth, your truth, the real truth. Two, grieve what you wished for. This is helpful. So closure is not just about understanding what happened, it's also about letting go. This is huge.
(07:03)Guys of the, and I'm bolding this in my brain right now. The fantasy of what you wanted, letting go of the fantasy of what you wanted or who you thought they could be or would become, or you could change them. It's a fantasy, right? Grieve the version of the relationship you hoped for, not the one you had. Not just the one you had, right? Okay. Number three, ritualize your closure. Do something symbolic. Make it fun to mark your release. You can write them a letter you'll never send and then burn that baby up. Don't set anything on fire though. I mean, burn without fire. Can you do that? I don't want to be responsible for anyone's fire. Tear it up. Let's tear it up instead. Okay? Tear it up. If you're going to burn a fire anyway, throw it in there, tear it up, flush it in the toilet, or visualize cutting that energetic cord.
(08:12)I will put my cord cutting episodes in the description box of the podcast. They are fabulous. I am biased as hell, but they are okay. It really works. Wonders and speak aloud. Do your affirmations, baby, I release you. I release this story. I reclaim my peace. These rituals, signal to your mind and body that you are done waiting. You're getting intentional here, right? Number four, focus on forward energy. So closure isn't just about ending, right? It is ending. And we want to end that chapter. Please pretty please the cherry on top. But it's about redirecting your energy. Ask what am I creating now? Is it self-love? Is it stronger boundaries? My favorite word, is it a new chapter just for you. You might not be able to even really picture that yet, depending where you are in your journey. But imagine that you could have a new chapter just for you, baby, all pink and glittery.
(09:31)So don't let the narcissist be the author of your final chapter. They already had control of that freaking pen and that pisses me off. But it's got you to where you are. You're here. We're not going to live in the past. We're not going to boohoo the rest of our lives about the past. We're going to straighten our crown, shining up and continue writing. You grab the pen, you have the pen, and you are writing the next page, right? Sorry, I got a little passionate there. I get a little worked up. Alright, so I know how painful it is to sit in this psych aching of unfinished conversations, but their silence, their refusal, their avoidance, none of that should stop you from healing. So today I want you to decide or invite you to decide. Of course I want it, but you got to want it too. I invite you to decide to close the chapter yourself. Not because they gave you what you deserved not happening, but because you deserve to be free. Say it with me. I want you to repeat that. Repeat after me class. I deserve to be free. Yes, I love it. I am very proud of you for doing this brave work. I love you. I see you and you are not alone in this. Okay? If you love this episode, if it spoke to you, share it with another sister queen who needs to hear it. Alright? Until next time, keep shining clean.

Get Your Power Back After Narcissistic Abuse Through This Mirror Visualization (Thrive in 5)

Feeling shaken by the narcissist’s fake glow-up? In this 5-minute Thrive in Five, join me for a powerful mirror visualization to reconnect with your authentic radiance — the light no one can fake, steal, or dim. Breathe, reset, and remember who you truly are. 🌸
 
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!!!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
WORK WITH ME 1:1
Somatic Sparkle Sessions:
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
Narcissistic Abuse Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause. From the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a Breath Queen. This one's for you. Hello. Welcome to today's Thrive in Five. We are doing a mirror visualization to reclaim your radiance. I am so excited for this one. I love mirror work. So if you are somewhere near a mirror, if you can actually either a hand mirror or go into the bathroom and look at the mirror to do this exercise. And if not, you can imagine a mirror in your mind. Yay. It's imagination time. But if you have a real mirror, that's always the best. But you can still do this exercise without one. So let's start by just taking halo breath in through the nose, out the mouth, nice and slow, just taking some nice inhales and exhales, releasing the stresses, the tension.
(01:17)Okay, let's drop into this moment here. You are safe, you are held, and you are powerful. So whether you're in front of a real mirror or you're imagining standing in front of one, imagine this mirror is magical. This mirror doesn't reflect your hair or your clothes or your makeup. It goes deeper reflecting your inner radiance. So I want you to envision yourself glowing, just a warm, glowing, golden energy, not because of external validation, not because of someone else's approval, but because of your truth, your strength, and your resilience. Notice how this glow moves through you. It's in your heart where you're learning to love yourself. Again, it's in your gut where you've rebuilt or maybe are still rebuilding your sense of safety on many levels.
(02:50)It's in your eyes where clarity is returning. Now, notice the difference between this light, your light and the narcissist. External performative glow. Theirs is a flickering neon sign, desperate, desperate, desperate for attention. Yours is just this steady candle, flame, peaceful, unwavering, real light. It's just truth. That's a big difference, right? So you can repeat softly in your mind or whisper aloud, repeat after me. I will make the statement and give you time to repeat after me. The first one is, my radiance comes from within me and my truth. Beautiful. The second, no one can dim this light.
(04:24)And finally, I am grounded in my authentic power, right? Authentic power your truth. I want you to really focus on that word truth. Breathe that in. Be with that word truth. This is your truth, your power. Now, let it settle into your body, into your chest, your belly, all the way to your fingertips, all the way through your hips, your legs, down to your toes, feeling that energy. Feel you up with strength, power, self-love, and be with that feeling. Let yourself enjoy it. This beautiful glow of strength, peace, authenticity. And when you're ready, gently open your eyes and carry this light with you today, knowing you are shining from the inside. And no narcissist, no performance, no social media, whatever can take that away. Do not let anyone take your power away.
(06:17)That's your thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your piece like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment, and check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.

Hooked by the Narcissist’s Apology? Try This 5 Minute Reset (Thrive in 5)

That “I’m sorry” hit different—and now you’re spiraling in hope, guilt, or confusion? 😩 Been there. In this 5-minute Thrive in 5, I’ll walk you through a quick nervous system drop-in + truth check to get you back to clarity and power. ✨Save this one for anytime you feel yourself getting reeled back in. You deserve peace, not performative apologies. 💥
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!!!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
WORK WITH ME 1:1
Somatic Sparkle Sessions:
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
Narcissistic Abuse Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
TRANSCRIPTS
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, Queens. Have you ever found yourself hoping that maybe this time they really mean that apology? You get it and suddenly you're questioning everything, your truth, your progress. You're like, wait, this feels authentic. Maybe this time it's real. If you've ever been pulled back in by a narcissist, apology, this one's for you. In just five minutes, we're going to ground that body and reset your clarity so you stop that spiral and stand firm in your truth. Let's go. Welcome to your Thursday. Thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to Take a breath Queen. This one's for you.
(00:53)Hey, beautiful. Welcome to this Thrive in Five. If you're here, you've probably been hit with one of those apologies. The ones that sound sweet, maybe very convincing, but they still leave your stomach twisted and your head and heart maybe confused. So we're going to do a quick reality reset to bring you back to your truth, not their spin of all the truths. Right? Okay, so first, you know I love getting into my body and yours, but that sounds weird. So we're going to ground your body. You put one hand on your heart and the other on your belly, and take a nice breath through your nose, hold it and release through your mouth this nice halo. Breath in through the nose, out through the mouth.
(01:54)Feel your feet on the ground or wherever they are grounded. You are safe right here. Now, ask yourself this one powerful question. What has actually changed in their behavior, not their words. What has changed in their behavior, not their words. Let the silence answer. We both know real change is proven in action, not in apologies. Okay, letting yourself receive the answer. What has changed besides their words? Now, say these three truths out loud and you can repeat after me out loud. Or just let them kind of wash over you. I can miss someone and still protect myself.
(03:16)Great, okay? I do not need an apology to move forward, alright? And this is my favorite. Their guilt is not my responsibility. Beautiful. Okay, so this is the reality anchor. Next, I invite you to close your eyes for a moment if you feel safe that way, or else you can leave them open and just set your gaze on one spot. Now, picture yourself outside their story. You're not in the chaos. You're standing firm in your power. See yourself turning toward peace, away from them and their chaos. Maybe you want to give it a dark energy color. I do a lot of energy work, and we often talk with colors about energies to identify different energies and how they feel. So maybe it's a black energy, a red energy. Imagine that, and you're walking the other way toward peace, forward toward peace, leaving behind that chaos, that false hope, that heavy energy that always makes you question yourself. Okay? Walk toward the light.
(04:59)That's your truth. That's your direction, okay? So you are walking toward that piece into it, and that is where you are walking. Now, we have shifted, we've pivoted. That was your five minute reset. Might've been even quicker. So you don't owe anyone access to you just because they say, I'm sorry. So let's get that straight first. You don't owe anybody anything just because they said, I'm sorry. You owe yourself your peace. You owe your children if you have them, your peace and teaching them how to create their own peace. You owe yourself your freedom, your healing. That's why you're here deep down, you know you deserve better and you want to break the cycle also for your family members. Stay in that truth. I've got you. So carry this reset with you. Save this episode. These thrive in fives. There's going to be so many we've done, I don't even know how many, maybe we've done about five now every Thursday, save these episodes and return to them.
(06:11)You can return any of them to just get a quick reset. If you haven't yet, go listen to the full episode from Tuesday called The Narcissist Apology, why it feels so good and Why You Still Can't trust it. Very good episode If I don't say so myself. I'm a little biased, but I love it. All right? It'll help you see the pattern though and break free, which is what we want. So I hope this little reset helped you, and I'll see you hopefully next Thursday too, on the Thrive in Five. But remember, every Tuesday is the regular length episodes, and these are our little quickies. So I am so excited to have you here. Please join my Facebook group and I will see you in the next episode. That's your Thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your peace like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment, and check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.