NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY | Narcissist, Co-Parenting, Grey Rock Method, Boundaries, Healing, Toxic Relationship

In Memory of My Dad: A Prayer for Grief , Peace and Strength in Hard Times

Well you know I like to be raw. This is a raw one. I lost my dad last night. The pain is horrific. But I wanted to still show up for you and for me and recorded a quick prayer. I felt like we can all always use a prayer, especially in the dark times.
Please keep my father and family in your prayers and make sure your loved ones know how much you love them. I was able to have so much peace knowing he knew how much I loved and cared for him and nothing was left unsaid. 
XO-Christy

Stop Waiting for Closure: Why the Narcissist Won’t Give It (and How to Create Your Own)

Still waiting for the narcissist to give you closure? In this episode, we break down why they can’t — and why you don’t need them to. Join me for 10 minutes of truth + empowerment as we walk through how to create your own closure and finally reclaim your peace. 💛👑
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions:
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
Cord Cutting Episodes:
Deep Cord Cutting: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-attached-to-the-narcissist-this-deep-cord/id1662241353?i=1000708306120
Quick Cord Cutting: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-energetically-tied-to-the-narcissist-cut-the/id1662241353?i=1000706789155
TRANSCRIPT:
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Still waiting for that apology, that explanation, the moment when the narcissist finally admits they were wrong. Here is the hard truth queen. It's probably never coming. But the even better truth, we like this one. You don't need their closure because you can create your own. You may not feel like that right now, but I promise you can. So let's dive in and talk about how have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back while you're in the right place. Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and drive ice and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted.
(01:06)Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. All right, welcome back. It's Christie. Today we are tackling one of the biggest pain points in narcissistic abuse, recovery closure. So many survivors feel stuck in this loop of waiting. Even if you are out of the relationship, waiting for the narciss to explain why they did what they did, waiting for an apology that actually feels like an apology or waiting for some acknowledgement that you mattered, that you were valuable to them. And I'm here to tell you closure for narcissist is a myth. Why? Well narcissists operate from this place of ego, not accountability. And this is very important. Pause this and write this down if you can. If you're driving, save this episode and come back to this and write it down because I really think this next statement is very important.
(02:37)They rewrite history to protect their false self, not to give you peace. They rewrite history to protect who? Them and their false self. They're not caring about your peace. So closure, it's not about you. They don't care to that level to help you get closure. Why can't they give closure? Let's break it down to the nitty gritty. Narcissists don't take true responsibility. I think most of us know that, but that's just a fact, right? Admitting fault is like death to their ego and they thrive on their ego. Their ego is their identity. So they are not about to go be vulnerable in any way and shine any sort of light on them being responsible or at fault for anything. They often will blame shift gaslight or even flip the script. So you are the bad guy. I mean, how often We are very familiar with the bad guy, right?
(03:55)The bad guy. Flip if you have been with a narcissist and whatever, if it's a sibling, if it's a parent, if it's a romantic partner, if it's a friend, you have been flipped to be the bad guy and they may give fake closure like an apology we talked about recently in the recent episodes on apology. Or they might give a fake explanation, but why do they do it? Usually just as bait to pull you back in. They know their lip service will get you back. So even when you think if I just explain one more time or if I just wait until they calm down, no, you're asking someone to give what they cannot or will not give.
(04:56)So how do you create your own closure? This is the important part. I know the other part's kind of hard sometimes to digest and to really let that sink in and act accordingly. But this part is really important for your healing. The good news is you don't need them. You have the power to create your own closure without them starting today. Tao, what was that from? Do you remember that Tao? Oh no. Message me on Facebook or Instagram, if you remember what that's from. It's like one of those, do you have those little folders that pop open in your brain and you're like, I know that. I know that. Where did it come from? And you can't really put your finger on exactly what and then you just shove it back in and continue. Okay, that was my a DD squirrel brain. We're back though.
(05:48)Alright, so here is how, and if you forgot, because I went off on that tangent. We're talking about how to create your own closure. First name, the truth, not their story. There is a huge difference between the truth and a narcissist truth. Write down what you know happened, not what they claim, not their excuses, not their blame. You want an example? Okay, they lied to me repeatedly. I felt discarded, devalued. You don't need them to agree with your reality, your truth. Your truth is valid. Okay? You know the truth. They lied. They gaslit you. They flipped every damn argument to make you look like the bad guy. Okay? So write it down. Name the truth, your truth, the real truth. Two, grieve what you wished for. This is helpful. So closure is not just about understanding what happened, it's also about letting go. This is huge.
(07:03)Guys of the, and I'm bolding this in my brain right now. The fantasy of what you wanted, letting go of the fantasy of what you wanted or who you thought they could be or would become, or you could change them. It's a fantasy, right? Grieve the version of the relationship you hoped for, not the one you had. Not just the one you had, right? Okay. Number three, ritualize your closure. Do something symbolic. Make it fun to mark your release. You can write them a letter you'll never send and then burn that baby up. Don't set anything on fire though. I mean, burn without fire. Can you do that? I don't want to be responsible for anyone's fire. Tear it up. Let's tear it up instead. Okay? Tear it up. If you're going to burn a fire anyway, throw it in there, tear it up, flush it in the toilet, or visualize cutting that energetic cord.
(08:12)I will put my cord cutting episodes in the description box of the podcast. They are fabulous. I am biased as hell, but they are okay. It really works. Wonders and speak aloud. Do your affirmations, baby, I release you. I release this story. I reclaim my peace. These rituals, signal to your mind and body that you are done waiting. You're getting intentional here, right? Number four, focus on forward energy. So closure isn't just about ending, right? It is ending. And we want to end that chapter. Please pretty please the cherry on top. But it's about redirecting your energy. Ask what am I creating now? Is it self-love? Is it stronger boundaries? My favorite word, is it a new chapter just for you. You might not be able to even really picture that yet, depending where you are in your journey. But imagine that you could have a new chapter just for you, baby, all pink and glittery.
(09:31)So don't let the narcissist be the author of your final chapter. They already had control of that freaking pen and that pisses me off. But it's got you to where you are. You're here. We're not going to live in the past. We're not going to boohoo the rest of our lives about the past. We're going to straighten our crown, shining up and continue writing. You grab the pen, you have the pen, and you are writing the next page, right? Sorry, I got a little passionate there. I get a little worked up. Alright, so I know how painful it is to sit in this psych aching of unfinished conversations, but their silence, their refusal, their avoidance, none of that should stop you from healing. So today I want you to decide or invite you to decide. Of course I want it, but you got to want it too. I invite you to decide to close the chapter yourself. Not because they gave you what you deserved not happening, but because you deserve to be free. Say it with me. I want you to repeat that. Repeat after me class. I deserve to be free. Yes, I love it. I am very proud of you for doing this brave work. I love you. I see you and you are not alone in this. Okay? If you love this episode, if it spoke to you, share it with another sister queen who needs to hear it. Alright? Until next time, keep shining clean.

Get Your Power Back After Narcissistic Abuse Through This Mirror Visualization (Thrive in 5)

Feeling shaken by the narcissist’s fake glow-up? In this 5-minute Thrive in Five, join me for a powerful mirror visualization to reconnect with your authentic radiance — the light no one can fake, steal, or dim. Breathe, reset, and remember who you truly are. 🌸
 
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!!!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
WORK WITH ME 1:1
Somatic Sparkle Sessions:
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
Narcissistic Abuse Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause. From the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a Breath Queen. This one's for you. Hello. Welcome to today's Thrive in Five. We are doing a mirror visualization to reclaim your radiance. I am so excited for this one. I love mirror work. So if you are somewhere near a mirror, if you can actually either a hand mirror or go into the bathroom and look at the mirror to do this exercise. And if not, you can imagine a mirror in your mind. Yay. It's imagination time. But if you have a real mirror, that's always the best. But you can still do this exercise without one. So let's start by just taking halo breath in through the nose, out the mouth, nice and slow, just taking some nice inhales and exhales, releasing the stresses, the tension.
(01:17)Okay, let's drop into this moment here. You are safe, you are held, and you are powerful. So whether you're in front of a real mirror or you're imagining standing in front of one, imagine this mirror is magical. This mirror doesn't reflect your hair or your clothes or your makeup. It goes deeper reflecting your inner radiance. So I want you to envision yourself glowing, just a warm, glowing, golden energy, not because of external validation, not because of someone else's approval, but because of your truth, your strength, and your resilience. Notice how this glow moves through you. It's in your heart where you're learning to love yourself. Again, it's in your gut where you've rebuilt or maybe are still rebuilding your sense of safety on many levels.
(02:50)It's in your eyes where clarity is returning. Now, notice the difference between this light, your light and the narcissist. External performative glow. Theirs is a flickering neon sign, desperate, desperate, desperate for attention. Yours is just this steady candle, flame, peaceful, unwavering, real light. It's just truth. That's a big difference, right? So you can repeat softly in your mind or whisper aloud, repeat after me. I will make the statement and give you time to repeat after me. The first one is, my radiance comes from within me and my truth. Beautiful. The second, no one can dim this light.
(04:24)And finally, I am grounded in my authentic power, right? Authentic power your truth. I want you to really focus on that word truth. Breathe that in. Be with that word truth. This is your truth, your power. Now, let it settle into your body, into your chest, your belly, all the way to your fingertips, all the way through your hips, your legs, down to your toes, feeling that energy. Feel you up with strength, power, self-love, and be with that feeling. Let yourself enjoy it. This beautiful glow of strength, peace, authenticity. And when you're ready, gently open your eyes and carry this light with you today, knowing you are shining from the inside. And no narcissist, no performance, no social media, whatever can take that away. Do not let anyone take your power away.
(06:17)That's your thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your piece like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment, and check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.

Hooked by the Narcissist’s Apology? Try This 5 Minute Reset (Thrive in 5)

That “I’m sorry” hit different—and now you’re spiraling in hope, guilt, or confusion? 😩 Been there. In this 5-minute Thrive in 5, I’ll walk you through a quick nervous system drop-in + truth check to get you back to clarity and power. ✨Save this one for anytime you feel yourself getting reeled back in. You deserve peace, not performative apologies. 💥
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!!!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
WORK WITH ME 1:1
Somatic Sparkle Sessions:
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
Narcissistic Abuse Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
TRANSCRIPTS
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, Queens. Have you ever found yourself hoping that maybe this time they really mean that apology? You get it and suddenly you're questioning everything, your truth, your progress. You're like, wait, this feels authentic. Maybe this time it's real. If you've ever been pulled back in by a narcissist, apology, this one's for you. In just five minutes, we're going to ground that body and reset your clarity so you stop that spiral and stand firm in your truth. Let's go. Welcome to your Thursday. Thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to Take a breath Queen. This one's for you.
(00:53)Hey, beautiful. Welcome to this Thrive in Five. If you're here, you've probably been hit with one of those apologies. The ones that sound sweet, maybe very convincing, but they still leave your stomach twisted and your head and heart maybe confused. So we're going to do a quick reality reset to bring you back to your truth, not their spin of all the truths. Right? Okay, so first, you know I love getting into my body and yours, but that sounds weird. So we're going to ground your body. You put one hand on your heart and the other on your belly, and take a nice breath through your nose, hold it and release through your mouth this nice halo. Breath in through the nose, out through the mouth.
(01:54)Feel your feet on the ground or wherever they are grounded. You are safe right here. Now, ask yourself this one powerful question. What has actually changed in their behavior, not their words. What has changed in their behavior, not their words. Let the silence answer. We both know real change is proven in action, not in apologies. Okay, letting yourself receive the answer. What has changed besides their words? Now, say these three truths out loud and you can repeat after me out loud. Or just let them kind of wash over you. I can miss someone and still protect myself.
(03:16)Great, okay? I do not need an apology to move forward, alright? And this is my favorite. Their guilt is not my responsibility. Beautiful. Okay, so this is the reality anchor. Next, I invite you to close your eyes for a moment if you feel safe that way, or else you can leave them open and just set your gaze on one spot. Now, picture yourself outside their story. You're not in the chaos. You're standing firm in your power. See yourself turning toward peace, away from them and their chaos. Maybe you want to give it a dark energy color. I do a lot of energy work, and we often talk with colors about energies to identify different energies and how they feel. So maybe it's a black energy, a red energy. Imagine that, and you're walking the other way toward peace, forward toward peace, leaving behind that chaos, that false hope, that heavy energy that always makes you question yourself. Okay? Walk toward the light.
(04:59)That's your truth. That's your direction, okay? So you are walking toward that piece into it, and that is where you are walking. Now, we have shifted, we've pivoted. That was your five minute reset. Might've been even quicker. So you don't owe anyone access to you just because they say, I'm sorry. So let's get that straight first. You don't owe anybody anything just because they said, I'm sorry. You owe yourself your peace. You owe your children if you have them, your peace and teaching them how to create their own peace. You owe yourself your freedom, your healing. That's why you're here deep down, you know you deserve better and you want to break the cycle also for your family members. Stay in that truth. I've got you. So carry this reset with you. Save this episode. These thrive in fives. There's going to be so many we've done, I don't even know how many, maybe we've done about five now every Thursday, save these episodes and return to them.
(06:11)You can return any of them to just get a quick reset. If you haven't yet, go listen to the full episode from Tuesday called The Narcissist Apology, why it feels so good and Why You Still Can't trust it. Very good episode If I don't say so myself. I'm a little biased, but I love it. All right? It'll help you see the pattern though and break free, which is what we want. So I hope this little reset helped you, and I'll see you hopefully next Thursday too, on the Thrive in Five. But remember, every Tuesday is the regular length episodes, and these are our little quickies. So I am so excited to have you here. Please join my Facebook group and I will see you in the next episode. That's your Thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your peace like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment, and check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.

Is the Narcissist Really Happy Without You? The Truth About Your Ex Moving On

Wondering if the narcissist is really thriving without you? 👀 In this juicy episode, we expose the truth behind their fake “glow-up” — and remind you why your healing is the real win. 💥 Tune in for truth bombs, affirmations, and your comeback fuel. 🎧✨
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!!!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
WORK WITH ME 1:1
Somatic Sparkle Sessions:
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
Narcissistic Abuse Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ever peaked at their social media and thought, dang, are they actually so much happier without me? Girl, do not be fooled. Today we are blowing up that myth of the narcissist, post breakup, glow up and shining a light on yours. Doesn't that feel better? Good. Stay with me. Be right back. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun.
(01:04)So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. Alright, let's be real. We've all had that moment. Scrolling, stalking, wondering, did they just upgrade without me? Are they the ones thriving? Well, here is the truth. Queen narcissists need to look happy. I'm going to repeat it again. Narcissists need to look happy. We know they have big egos, right? And their ego thrives on performance validation and making you think you lost the best thing that ever happened. That's a real thing. So what you're seeing, it is a curated show. New partner, fancy vacation, all smiles. Yes, they are actually putting that energy designed in a way to trigger you, right?
(02:19)But don't get confused with, oh, they want to be with you. And I'm not trying to say this to be mean queen ladies, but this isn't like, oh, you're the only one and you're the one that got away. I love you. But we know what got away was them having control of you, right? We have to remember, all the narcs are really capable of is seeking control, taking control. They don't know how to value and love the way that we do. So we cannot compare them to us or other people we've had experiences and with. But remember this, happiness isn't loud. Healing isn't flashy. Well, I don't know. Some people say that, but I have had some queen moments where, I mean, I've been flashy. I am flashy, but I'm happy. Yes, but there's a different energy that comes off if it's overly in your face, look at me and I did this and I did that.
(03:25)That comes from insecurity. And if this is a narcissist you're talking about, this is that fake happiness. It is the flashy that we're talking about. Growth does not need an audience. So here's the thing behind the curtain, right? Because that's on the stage behind the curtain. While you're over here, you're doing your work, right? You are over here listening to the podcast, reading the books, doing therapy, whatever you got going on to try to better yourself, right? Building that the narcissist is running right? They are having a very hard time in a very different way, and they're running from their own emptiness so they can post the photos, they can charm the new supply. This does not mean, ooh, they found someone better than you or that's a better match. They found another victim to control. They found another victim to control.
(04:36)I feel bad for those people too. So they can't escape their own dysfunction. You've escaped it. Can you give yourself a little hug, a big fat hug? You have escaped. They're dysfunction that is so good. They cannot. They are stuck in their own damn web and the crash always comes. So this new supply is going to go down at some point as well. You know it if you really think about it. You know that's true. They don't have genuine connections. There's no true accountability and growing and doing better. Just rinse, repeat, destroy. So here's where I want you to flip the script. I know this can happen even if you've moved on, even if you're sometimes because the damage is so deep with these narcissists. You could be in a new relationship. You could be dating and having fun or trying to have fun or whatever, and you might still ask, are they happier without me?
(05:46)What you need to flip this script on is asking yourself, am I becoming the woman I was meant to be? But that I want to be right? You got out of this situation with hope for better, right? You could probably hit rock bottom or just had enough, or maybe they did leave you. And that's lucky because it's easier when they leave you than when you leave them. I will tell you that. But now you're at a point. You can say, am I becoming that woman that I was meant to be? Am I becoming a woman of fill in the blank for yourself. What do you want for yourself? Is it peace, happiness, joy, energy, not having to be in your mind, thinking and walking on eggshells? Are you becoming that woman? That is way more important than worrying about them and what they're doing. Your glow up is peace at night, real friendships, looking in the mirror and knowing I'm healing the narcissist. Glow up is a mask. It's always going to be a mask. Your glow up is a rebirth. It's a next chapter. It's you 2.0. We love your glow up. It's amazing. Their glow up is always going to be a mask, temporary mask. Okay, so let's do a 32nd reset. Close your eyes, take a deep breath. Don't close those eyes if you're driving baby. Okay? Deep breath in through the nose, out through the mouth, repeat after me. Their fake peace is not my truth.
(07:53)Alright, I am no longer available for illusions. Good. And finally, I'll break this into two parts. My joy, my healing, my freedom. That's my glow up. So feel that that's your comeback story. So here's your challenge today. You know I love me some soul work. Alright? Do one thing that proves you are your own comeback story. Go for a walk, play with your kid and truly be present and alive with them in the space journal. One of my personal honestly, to get into your body, get out of your mind, into your body and find joy and peace is dance. Dance in your kitchen. You can do that combined with your activity with your kid, right? You and your kids just blasting music, dancing in the kitchen. That's healing. That's what life's about. It's not about stewing over what your ex is doing or how they're doing better.
(09:27)Let them go fake their better. Okay? And if you're ready for a real full glow up plan, book a one-on-one session with me. We have the option of doing coaching, narcissistic abuse, specific coaching, and we have the option of doing somatic healing. I've been doing some amazing, amazing epic work sessions lately with people and they're mind blowing every single one I live for them. But either way, the coaching is more kind of talk therapy type thing. Coaching, talking through. And sometimes that's a great way to start to kind of get your story out, get that validation, get the empowerment, and then there's the somatic healing, which is really through the body, but there can be a little talk through that too. I just had a really beautiful one last week that was a mix of both. And we can do that. So you sign up for either one and it'll be, we will talk through what you want your experience to be.
(10:37)It's just a beautiful, beautiful way with somatic healing to really heal from the inside out. And the body remembers, the body holds on all of this trauma and you're actually rewriting your body's memory really transitioning, transforming from a deeper level. So both are amazing and we can combine. So look at the links in my description and remember, they may look like they're winning today. Today, okay, that's the keyword today. But first of all, it's just a look, it's a mask. But you your healing in a way that they can never change or touch or have power over and it's lasting. That's why I really love the somatic healing because it is lasting and you want a lasting glow up. You don't want to mask like them. You don't want to just throw, I get it. I mean, I've probably done it in my past. Throw up a cute pick and look at me.
(11:51)Even though you might be crying over some ice cream at night. Oh, look at that, look at that. Throwing up the picture. Oh, maybe he'll see that and he'll feel a certain way. But what does that do? So you don't want to mask life either. You want to really heal and make it last. So I just want you to feel good about yourself. Know that you are not alone. There's a group of women in my Facebook community that you can lean on. Please join that. It is free. That link is always in the description of the podcast too. And I really, really want you to give yourself some grace and patience and appreciation today because you are healing. And not everyone does that, and it's very hard to sometimes reach in and pull out some of this stuff. But you're doing it. You're here and you're looking damn good.
(12:57)You look like a damn fly queen. Shine that crown. Put on some red lipstick and go dance around your kitchen. Alright, I will see you guys in the next episode. Don't forget, Thursdays are thrive in five, which is basically all sorts of somatic healing affirmations, breath work. It depends on the week and it's around five minutes. So it's a shorter episode where you can just kind of have a quick reset and you can save the episodes and go to your favorite ones whenever you choose to. Just have a nice little reset because we know it can be a very stressful thing dealing with narcissists. Or even after they may totally be out of your lives. You may still have some of that ick, yuck, leftover, and you still need a little support. So thank you for tuning in. I will see you in the next one. Don't forget to follow on whatever podcast you listen to. Narcissistic abuse Recovery, smooches.
 

The Narcissist’s Apology: Why It Feels So Good (And Why You Still Can’t Trust It)

That apology felt so real. Maybe they cried. Maybe they finally said the words you’ve been waiting to hear. But deep down… something still felt off. 😔
In this episode, we're breaking down the narcissist’s apology trap—why it feels comforting, why your brain wants to believe it, and why it's usually just a sneaky form of control.
You'll learn:
The 3 common types of fake apologies
Why even smart, strong women fall for them
How to protect yourself with clarity and calm
🎧 Hit play to get the clarity (and closure) you deserve.
<"Grey Rock Method" episode mentioned> https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-grey-rock-method-how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist/id1662241353?i=1000648879776
 
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TRANSCRIPT 
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ever get an apology from the narcissist that made your heart flutter, like maybe they finally get it and then a week later you're back in the same damn mess. Yes. Today we are breaking down the narcissist apology trap, why it feels so healing and why it's usually nothing more than manipulation in disguise. Hang tight, this is going to be a good one. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back while you're in the right place. Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry ice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted.
(01:03)Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you so steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. So I have been there. I have been there. I have been there. You are not alone in this. I've had a couple narcissists in my life and one that I dated was really, really good at apologies because he made them feel really real and very emotional. He would usually pair apologies with flowers or a poem or cookies, my favorite thing, but it always came back to that same spot. He would even cry. There were tears shed, right? And this was a tough guy. So you're like, man, he really cares. He said the right things. I felt seen, heard, validated. In those moments, it felt like closure, like maybe the person who hurt me was becoming who I wanted him to be. Can you relate?
(02:24)It's this emotional high when someone who broke you finally says, I'm sorry, your nervous system wants to actually believe that, right? It's not weakness, it's human nature, craving safety and repair. So it actually makes sense and we're here to talk a little more deeply about it. So most narcissist apologies are not about you. I'm going to say it again. Most narcissistic apologies are not you. They are about regaining control. I mean, you could even write this down. Get a pen, ladies and gents, okay? They're about regaining control, resetting the narrative or reeling you back in, which essentially is gaining control, right? So there's three common types of fake apologies. Okay? The narc apologies, we'll call 'em. The first one is the vague one. I'm sorry for whatever made you feel that way. Okay, stop. Just don't even bother apologizing if that's your move. There's no accountability.
(03:44)Then there's the second type, the flip one. Okay? It's just like dismissive. I said I was sorry, can we move on? I remember one of the narcs in my life said, can't you just get over it? Literally said, can't you just get over it? That was the response. So they're using the apology as a silencing tool. They want to silence you so they don't have to deal with you anymore. And the third is the strategic one. This is delivered at the perfect time. When you're pulling away, when you're setting those boundaries or gaining strength, they smell it. They hate it. So they're going to deliver the strategic one at the perfect time. They sense you're getting out of their control and what do they want to do? Gain control. They can't stand not having control of you. So real apologies are backed by change, period.
(04:45)That's it. Real apologies are backed by change. A narcissist version is often what we call a performative apology. It is not a promise. It's not I'm going to change my behavior. It's a lot of lip service. It's a lot of, let me just say what they want to hear and move this along because I'm not enjoying this, right? It's not benefiting them, and that's what they want. They want to benefit themselves and have control. So this is why you still fall for it though. Let's talk some brain science here, which isn't technically my specialty, but I've done a lot of work, a lot of research, and we're going to dive in lightly into the brain science. If you want further brain science, go find a doctor. So when we are trauma bonded, apologies, feel like relief. And I know you know what I'm talking about. Your brain feels these feel good chemicals. It's like a release, and that's a dopamine. When there is hope of connection or safety, even if it's from someone who's harmed you, right? Our brain does not discriminate. It's just like, Ooh, hope or safety, yes, come over here. Feels so good. It's just like whatever happened before, it just wants desperately to feel that safety. The good dopamine hit. Everybody wants that dopamine hit.
(06:22)So this isn't your fault. It's conditioning. It's survival wiring because especially when you have been so low, it's almost like it wants it even more, right? It's like, let's say you're falling really, really, really deep in the mud. You get more and more desperate to feel good. You're scared. It feels gross. I dunno if you've ever fallen in mud, it's not the most pleasant thing. So the deeper you're going, you're just like, oh God, I really want to get it. It's one thing you got your toe in there. It's a whole different story when you're up to your shoulders in mud and someone reaches out their hand and they're like, yeah, I'm going to help you. I'm going to give you a hit of joy by pulling you out of this. Okay? That's what's happened to us. So it's not your fault recognizing the pattern.
(07:19)That's your power though. That's where you get the more permanent dopamine, the more permanent joy by recognizing the pattern. So you can what? Come on class, protect your peace. Stick with me. You'll be saying protect your peace or talking about that golden peace bubble all the time. So here's two practical steps you can take with you. Number one, pause before you react. So you want to sit with your gut before responding. You don't let emotion take the wheel. And this can be hard. I know narcs make us all sorts of emotional messes, right? And so this can take time, but try to remember to pause before you react at all and then ask what has changed? This is very important. I really do hope you are taking notes on this one. What has changed if nothing in their behavior has shifted consistently, consistently over time? What's that? Consistently? Yeah, the apology is lip service. We're not talking about a change. The guy I was dating, Narcos, I'll call him, I don't know. That just came to my lips. I never liked to say anyone's true identity here. So we call him Narcos.
(08:53)No, he was really, like I said, he's good at apologizing and I'd say he had a pretty good cycle of about a month where he'd try to be on better behavior and change, and it would make me be like, oh, look, he's been not canceling plans as much, or, oh, he included me in this, or, oh, he was talking nice about me in front of his friends. Lucky girl. The bar was pretty low. But you get these little dopamine hits because they give you the little carrots, right? If you don't know about the carrots, we can do an episode on carrots. They give you these little carrots of like, oh, just these little glimmers, little shimmers that make you just want more because you want to get their love. You want their approval. You want to feel that shiny bright thing that they give you a little bit of.
(09:47)You want more because it feels good because that's normal, right? It's normal to feel good when people make you feel good. So he would, I mean, it would probably, I'd say three to four weeks, and not everyone might have that specific of a cycle, but I noticed he did when I started reeling out of the relationship, which took me a while, but at the end for me, it did take me, I mean, really cracking and saying, he's not changing. I really, I had reached rock bottom and was like, I'm so miserable. He is not changing. He keeps saying he's going to. So have they consistently changed over time for the better? No. That apologies bullshit then.
(10:46)So that's how we have to look at these apologies. It can help to do pausing, asking what has changed. You can forgive without giving access. You can release without reopening the door so you can forgive someone. I have forgiven people. That doesn't mean I want to be in any sort of relationship with them. When someone apologizes and it's empty, it is empty. Think about that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm tears. I'm flowers. I'm, here's some chicken nuggets from Wendy's with barbecue. Oh, sorry, was that just me? No, it's empty. I'm asking you to change your behavior. I have literally said to people, I think it's because I've had a couple narcs in my life that apologies are so bullshitty that I'm just so over them that I have said to people, healthy people in my life that say, oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, don't apologize first.
(11:56)It's just an aversion to me. It's like it's nice, but no need to do that. And then it's just watching behavior. I've had friends that have been maybe not the best, that I'm no longer close with. Not saying all of them are narcissists or whatever, but some people, just as I got older and I realized what healthy relationships and friendships were, they just didn't align anymore. And one apologized, but I could tell it was like a forced apology to just kind want to obligate to worry, get over it, move on, that sort of thing, which can be a narcissistic trait, but not necessarily means someone's narcissistic. But what did I do? I did. I said, this is a pattern though, and this behavior has gone on for years and it's not going to end anytime soon. I can tell. And I put distance between us.
(12:54)So if any of this made you go, oh my God, that's what happened. You're not alone. That's why I do this work. That's how I got here, that I have been through this in not just romantic relationships, but family and friendships. I have had narcissists or narcissistic traded people in my life multiple ways. And if you have an actual narcissist in your life, you may or may not know, the odds of having more of them in your life is higher because we can attract them for certain reasons. That's another episode itself. You can look up, maybe you're an empath, you just have a big heart. Sometimes they're easier targets because of our oversight, because we want to see the good in people. There's many reasons that you can have multiple people that take advantage of you in your life. And then once you start seeing this, you may shed many people.
(13:59)That happened to me once. I started seeing this one person that was blatant narcissism, and I started really diving into it and studying and all of that. I saw that there was a trickle down effect in other relationships. And yes, I did cut multiple people out of my life because I realized, wow, these are not healthy people for me, and I'm walking on eggshells in multiple areas of my life. It's crazy. So don't do that. Come on, let's all get out together. So I know I went a little side tangent there, but apologies. There's a reason why they feel so good, right? You're getting that dopamine hit, especially when you're down in that mud, that nasty mud. And what can you do about it? Pause. Ask. What's changed? Is it an empty apology? If you're with a narcissist or this is related to narcissist, it's probably going to be empty.
(14:54)So what do you do? You say they're not going to change and you have to evaluate what you do. I always recommend no contact with narcissists. That's my first recommendation. If you have to be in contact. If it's an ex, you have custody with something like that, you do Gray Rock Method, and I have a couple of episodes, I believe on the Gray Rock method. Very, very important. I'm probably going to do a new updated one. I love talking about the Gray rock method, so I will put that podcast episode in the description. So if this at all made you say, yeah, that's familiar. I get those empty apologies. You deserve better, queen. You are a queen. Did you forget? Do you not feel that shiny heavy crown on your head right now? It's you're a queen. So if you want to go deeper with any of the support, check the show notes for My Empowered Boundaries course. I can't speak or one-on-one coaching Somatic Healing. It's always in there. And you deserve real repair. Not this like recycled ass pain in disguise. No, we're not here for that. Life is short and you're here for a reason. You're listening to this because you were made for more than what you are putting up with. So no more empty apologies for you. Okay? Can we have a pinky swear? Let me see. Oh girl, your nails look good. Okay. Okay, queen. I'll see you in the next episode.

5-Minute Fix for Anxiety + Overthinking (Thrive in 5)

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
When your mind won't stop racing, second guessing over analyzing, running through worst case scenarios. It is time for a reset. This five minute nervous system practice will bring you back to calm back to your body. Back to now. Let's quiet the noise together. Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath queen. This one's for you. Okay, queen. Take a deep breath in through your nose and slowly out through your mouth. My favorite breath work is the halo breath, which is in through that nose, out through your mouth. Repeat this couple of times in and out until you feel settled.
(01:02)Let your body relax and let's begin. Overthinking happens when your nervous system is overwhelmed. It's your brain's way of trying to solve a problem that doesn't have an immediate solution or maybe doesn't even belong to you anymore. And if you're someone who's experienced trauma or high stress environments, especially emotional abuse, toxic relationships, your brain may have been trained to stay on this high alert. But right now, in this moment here with Queen Krista, Jade, you're safe. You're safe right now and you get to come home to you. So let's name this overthinking. Say this with me. It can be out loud or silently. I will say a few words and break it up so it's easy to memorize so you can repeat it easily repeat after me. I see you overthinking.
(02:17)You're trying to help, but I'm okay right now. Good. So you are not broken for spinning in your head. You are human, you're adapting, but it's time to step off that hamster wheel with love. So let's bring you into your body. This is a great way when you want to get out of your head, you go into your body, it's a little spoiler alert. One of the ways we can get into your body is different ways of grounding. So we're going to do a little trifecta. We're going to touch three things that are around you, feel their texture and say them out loud. For example, I'm touching my green velvet blanket, right? So I can say velvet blanket.
(03:25)Then I'm going to feel the smooth outside of the keyboard on my computer. Smooth keyboard. And there's a tissue over here. I'm going to touch the white tissue. Okay? So touch three things and say them out loud. I will give you time to do that. Okay, now we're going to listen. We're going to name three sounds. You hear, even if they are subtle, it could be a humming fridge, distant traffic. Right now I am hearing the fan going on in my bathroom. It could be the television on in a room that's not yours distant. So name three sounds you here.
(04:43)Great. And finally, name three things you can see this could be colors, shapes, objects. Perfect. You are so good at this. Have you done this before? Okay, so this simple practice, it's very simple, right? It seems like something we would maybe do with the child. And guess what? This is amazing for working with children. I actually do this one with my daughter who sometimes she has a little perfectionism and this will distract her when she gets anxiety. So it sends a message to your brain that says, I'm here. I'm in my body. I'm in the present. So let's go over those again. So you can use them in the future. And you can save this episode as a reminder. But you touch three things, say 'em out loud. Name three sounds, say it out loud and three things you can see saying it out loud. I like to say things out loud, you don't have to, but I recommend it. I feel that helps me be more present. So let's end this practice with some calming affirmations. And I again, will state an affirmation and you just repeat after me. I am safe in this moment. And you can put your hands over your heart, one hand on your heart, one on your stomach, whatever feels good.
(06:33)I am allowed to pause. I release what's not mine to carry. My piece matters more than their approval. I choose to return to me. And if you are in recovery from narcissistic abuse or toxic dynamics, I want you to add this one. They do not get to live in my head anymore. I am free. Okay, so let's do a couple more of those. Inhale, exhale, halos in through the nose, out through the mouth, in through the nose, feeling your shoulders drop out through the mouth chest softening in through the nose, out through the mouth. Your body returning to the now.
(08:12)You don't have to think your way out of everything though. We like to sometimes, right? Sometimes the path just comes after you pause. You are safe and your peace is always worth protecting. So make sure to carve out this time every single day you should be having body time. Let's call it body time queen body time, okay, queen body time at ti. Just play one of my thrive in fives. We are on every single Thursday for around five minutes. It's more today. I think I babbled during some of that, but that's okay. That means we needed it. Okay? So be sure to the podcast, if you haven't, wherever you're listening to this, whatever podcast platform, hit that follow button. So then you get notifications whenever one of my episodes, whether it's Tuesday, longer episode or the Thrive, and five on Thursdays, these little bite-size resets.
(09:15)You will get notification. And if this helps you at all, I would appreciate it so much if you would share it with a friend who lives in her head a little too much too. I feel like we kind of packed together sometimes, right? So you probably know a couple. So if you wouldn't mind sharing this specific podcast, if you think it would help this episode or anything else you think would help, just share it along. You can just copy and paste the link or tell them to search my show Narcissistic Abuse Recovery on their podcast platform. She deserves peace too. So I'm trying to reach anybody I can to help get through this because we can all come out thriving no matter what we've been through. Alright, thank you so much for listening. Have a peaceful day and I'll see you in the next episode.
(10:09)That's your Thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your piece like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment. And check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.

Still Attached to the Narcissist? This Deep Cord-Cutting Will Set You Free

Feel like you know they’re toxic but still feel emotionally hooked? This deep cord-cutting is your sacred reset. Release the energetic ties, reclaim your peace, and feel lighter—fast.
✨ Press play, Queen. Your freedom starts now.
WORK WITH ME 1:1
Somatic Sparkle Sessions:
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
Narcissistic Abuse Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
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Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, this episode is for saving, and you can go back to it over and over and over and over again. You might need it. Sometimes we do cord cuttings and they do work immediately. A hundred percent. I have had that happen with one of mine, one of my narcissist cord cuttings, another one where it was someone I had known a lot longer and deeper relationship with. It took somewhat longer a few times, and then sometimes it feels good to just do it if you have any sort of feeling like come back, right? Because nothing's foolproof, like, oh my God, you're never going to think about this person or worry about this person again in your life, right? But I promise you, there is energetic entanglement that does get separated when you do these cord cutting. So stay close. Wait for my amazing intro and then you'll be back. And we're going to dive deep into this cord cutting from a narcissist.
(01:07)Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back while you're in the right place. Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and drive ice and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you, so steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up.
(02:05)Alright, welcome, queen. I am so excited for this episode because these have helped me so much. Oh my gosh. Let me just describe real quick. One of my favorite cord cuttings was from someone I knew from a very, very long time ago, and I was really worried. I had cut them out of my life and was like, this is going to be so hard. So right away, I'm going to do a cord cutting, and I had done cord cuttings before. That's so I had experience with them, so I knew to just do it right away. And I did a cord cutting. It was very powerful. I had some emotions come up. It was a 20 minute one just like this. And the I don't know, difference. It was really night and day right after. And I can't promise you everyone is going to have exact same results, but I do promise you will have some result and feel a change, even if it's a small one.
(03:09)It also depends on how open you are and what you believe. I always say you got to have faith for things to happen. That's just my personal beliefs about a lot of things. But this worked so well for me, especially with that one person. Other ones, like I said earlier, that it might take a little bit longer or a few times. So it depends. Everyone's different. So give it time, give yourself grace, but you will have some transformation of some sort, and definitely save this, save this, save this. Okay, so let's just take a breath for a second. Okay? This is your sacred space here where we're going to do this cutting. This is your moment to realize what no longer serves you. That doesn't mean you're selfish, just means there's something that it's not even just not serving you. It is doing damage to you.
(04:11)So to cut the energetic cords that have kept you tangled in pain, confusion, the chaos of narcissistic abuse, right? We don't want to stay in that spiderweb of hell. So you are safe here in this moment. You are powerful here. You have the power right here. You are coming home to you. So I invite you to take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale. This is the beginning of your new found freedom. Okay? When you feel ready, close your eyes. We're going to do a little breath work to start. Bring both hands to your heart and make sure you are in a quiet space where you will be uninterrupted. Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. These are called halo breaths, and they're my favorite. Again, inhale peace.
(05:30)Exhale tension. Feel your body sink. Sink into whatever piece of furniture floor is supporting you, knowing this is your time. Let your shoulders drop. Unclench your jaw, soften your belly. Now breathe into your heart space. Visualize a soft golden light glowing in the center of your chest, expanding gently with every breath. This is your power center, your intuition, your truth. Now, I want you to imagine standing in a wide open space. It's safe, it's sacred, it's protected before you, and I'm here with you. You're not alone. You're safe before you stand. The image of the narcissist you are cutting ties with, they're only here as a symbol. Okay? You're safe. You're in full control here. They cannot hurt you here.
(07:18)Now, look down between you and this narcissist. There is an energetic cord. What does it look like to you? Is it thick, thin, frayed tight? Is it glowing? Is it dark? Just observe this cord without judgment. There's no right or wrong. It just is what it is. Just be with this cord. This cord has been connected through pain, guilt, trauma, obligation, maybe even love of some sort, familial, romantic friendship, love. But now it's time to release this court. Release these things that you've been carrying, not because you hate, but because you love yourself enough to let go. And I'm going to repeat that because you love yourself enough to let go.
(08:47)It's time to let go. Take a moment now to feel into what this connection has cost you. This might bring up some feelings. Just let them rise up. It's okay. Don't push them away. Just let them bubble up and say these affirmations quietly or aloud after me so you can say them in your mind or speak them out loud. Whatever you are comfortable with, I will say them first and give you time to repeat and go on to the next one. I acknowledge the pain this bond has brought. I acknowledge the way I've ded myself to stay connected.
(09:50)I acknowledge the confusion, the fear, and the self-doubt that's lived in this cord. I acknowledge that I am done, done, shrinking, done, doubting, done carrying energy that is not mine. Now we are getting to the cutting of the cord. Visualize yourself holding a powerful tool of your choice. This may be scissors, a golden sword with some diamonds. That's what I'm using, a beam of light, a torch. Whatever feels strong yet sacred to you. Okay, you've got that in your mind's eye. Raise that tool toward the cord. Now we're going to breathe in deeply through the nose. And on your exhale, you're going to swiftly cut the cord.
(11:30)Exhale, cutting the cord. Now watch it. Watch it fall away. Watch the image of that narcissist, dissolve, disintegrate. Feel your energy shift. Feel it. How does that feel? The lightness in your chest, the strength in your belly, that power and the peace that begins to bloom. Sit in this moment. Let yourself really enjoy this. Tears may come up, confidence may come up. Things you have been sitting on and squishing down may rise. There is a shift. There has been a shift in you. Now say aloud, I'll say it. And then you can repeat after me. I release you.
(12:45)I forgive what I need to for my own healing. I do not need closure. I create my own. The cord is cut, the pattern is broken. The cycle ends with me. Beautiful. Now we're going to seal and protect your energy. So when you feel ready, bring your hands back to your heart. Imagine that golden light in your chest expanding again, but now it begins to wrap around you like a cocoon. This is your shield, your golden shield. No one gets access unless you allow it. Right? You're in control. Repeat after me. I reclaim my energy.
(14:18)I call back every piece of me I gave away. I am whole. I am protected. I am safe in my own body, in my own power. Sit and feel that power for a moment. Breathe it in. Feel nice and strong. Balance that crown on your head, queen. Now visualize roots growing from the soles of your feet down into the earth. You can even picture some golden roots. Notice I like gold. You are grounded, you are anchored, yet you are free. Isn't that an amazing feeling? From here, I invite you to picture your future, the embodiment of you in your future. Feel it. You are light, you are free, you are rising.
(15:59)From this moment forward, the cord remains cut. It cannot reattach. You have already shifted. You've chosen by doing this here today. You have chosen your freedom. Repeat after me. I trust the healing has begun. I trust the Holy Spirit God, or maybe just your higher self is guiding me. I walk in peace. I walk in power, and I never look back. Take one more deep breath through your nose. Exhale. And when you're ready, gently bring awareness back to your body. Wiggle your fingers, roll your shoulders. Do some hip swerves, whatever feels good. And when you are ready, slowly open your eyes.
(17:44)You did something truly powerful today. You don't know anyone. Access to your energy, right? You're allowed to walk away without guilt. You are allowed to protect your own peace. You're allowed to be free. If you found this helpful, make sure to definitely follow the podcast for more healing tools. Thursdays, we do thrive. Thrive to five, I almost said that's not it. Five to thrive. So there are shorter healing methods. And generally on Tuesdays, they're my full episodes. This is kind of a rare one where I'm doing a whole episode related to an actual embodied exercise. But I have been asked to do this several times, so I'm finally doing it. So this is that deeper dive. And last week I did put out a shorter version. If you just want to a quick fix, you can always do that. And if you ever need a full personalized cord cutting, definitely email me.
(18:58)All of my information is always in the description notes. Do not forget to go over there if you want to work with me or purchase my boundaries course, which is amazing. I'm a little biased. Yes I am. But I love it. And I have many, many happy clients that have gone through the boundaries course and have told me all of their amazing shifts in their lives where they have gone from people pleasers to loving themselves, drawing boundaries without guilt, and had really amazing results. Right? So I hope you enjoyed this today. You are not alone. You are rising up like the queen you are. And I will see you in the next episode.
 

Still Energetically Tied to the Narcissist? Cut the Cord in 5 Minutes (Thrive in 5)

Still feeling emotionally or energetically tied to the narcissist—even after going no contact? In this 5-minute mini healing, I’ll walk you through a powerful cord-cutting visualization to help you release their grip and call your energy back to YOU. 👑
✨ Perfect for when you feel drained, triggered, or just can’t stop thinking about them.
Make sure to follow the podcast so you don’t miss the upcoming FULL cord-cutting ritual episode!
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https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
💌 Questions? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
 
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Alright, are you still feeling like they've got a grip on your energy even after you blocked 'em, you deleted them, you have walked away? Well, it's time for a five minute cord cutting reset. Think of it as a mini detox to reclaim your power. And I'll be guiding you through a deeper full cord cutting in a future episode. So make sure you click that follow button on my podcast so you don't miss it. Welcome to your Thursday. Thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you.
(00:44)All right, queen, you've done the thing, you're out, you're healing somehow they're still in your head. You feel like you're in their web, right? They're still draining your energy, still showing up in dreams, thoughts, emotions, even maybe if you're co-parenting you have to have contact. But that is an energetic cord. And today we are going to cut it and this is your mini detox. A quick but still powerful reset. And I will walk you through that fuller one in the future. But this is just going to give us a little bandaid. Alright, so step one, you want to actually visualize the cord. So I want you to close your eyes, breathe in through your nose and out your mouth. Picture a cord stretching between you and this person. See where it's connected to your body. It could be your chest. Where do you feel it? Just whatever pops up. There's no right answer. Your chest, your gut, maybe even your throat. Notice its color, texture, its weight. Does it feel heavy? Does it feel light?
(02:08)This is energetic baggage we are releasing. Alright, and you're a queen, so I know you have some gold scissors, golden, beautiful shiny scissors. And I want you to imagine holding these scissors, they're infused with light truth and your power. Repeat after me. I release this energetic tie. I call my energy back. What's mine returns to me? What's theirs? I release completely. Now cut the cord with your scissors. Feel that freedom. Let the cord dissolve, disintegrate, or burst into light. For step three, we're going to seal and recenter. So place your hands on your heart, breathe in through your nose and release saying, I am whole.
(03:37)I am protected, I am free. And you are queen. We just cleared some space. You just reclaimed some power. So make sure you're following the podcast so you do not miss the full cord cutting that is longer lasting and very, very beneficial for people that are dealing with narcissists who really know how to suck your energy. So that's your in five for today. So don't forget, you own your power, you own these golden scissors and can do this cord cutting anytime. So make sure to save it so you can come back to it for a quick cord cutting and follow. So you will be notified for the full cord cutting coming soon.
(04:38)Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your piece like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment. And check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.

Why You STILL Feel Stuck After Narcissistic Abuse — And How to Finally Move Forward With Peace

Still feeling stuck after leaving the narcissist? You’re not broken—you’re healing. In this episode, Christy breaks down the real reason survivors feel frozen after narcissistic abuse and shares powerful steps to start moving forward with confidence and clarity.
WORK WITH ME 1:1
Somatic Sparkle Sessions:
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
Narcissistic Abuse Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
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TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello Queens. Today we're getting real about a feeling that so many women carry in silence after narcissistic abuse. Why can't I move on? Why do you still feel stuck even though they're gone, or at least you're broken up, even if you're co-parenting, but they're like out of your daily life? Why do you still feel stuck? Why do you keep second guessing, freezing up, replaying things in your mind, you just feel like you're not moving forward? If that's you, this episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself and start understanding what's actually happening underneath the surface.
(00:42)Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry ice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you so steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up.
(01:40)Okay, so let's get something straight right now. You are not lazy, broken or weak. You're traumatized and there is a difference. Feeling stuck is often your actual nervous system doing what it was trained to do. So that's a little bit of a relief here, right? It is freezing to survive. You are in survival mode if you're still feeling the stuckness. So after the chaos, and we all know the chaos of narcissistic abuse, the gaslighting invalidation, the emotional whiplash that yo-yo, the up and down, that you're great, you're the worst. All of that, your body gets stuck in a loop and it's not just your mind, it's in your body. So intellectually it's over. And like I said, that could just be in a different way. It's not the daily. It's not the hourly, but it's over in a sense. But your nervous system has not gotten that memo.
(02:45)It's not caught up, and we call this trauma paralysis. It's not that you don't want to move forward, of course you do, but your body, here's the key, your body holds that it remembers all of what's happened. It doesn't feel safe enough to, I want to say that a different way. It doesn't feel safe yet enough to move forward. So we live in this world that pushes quick fixes and snapbacks, right? Like, oh, just let it go. You should be over it by now. Why are you still thinking about them? I have been guilty of this saying this to myself and saying this to others for sure, right? When you're in protection mode over a friend, you might be like, oh, don't worry about them. You shouldn't be thinking about them. You deserve more. Don't even worry about them. All those things are things we say to ourselves, to others, but that's not always the reality, especially with narcissistic abuse.
(03:50)The mindset in that is actually toxic in itself. Narcissistic abuse is not like a regular breakup. It is psychological warfare, and that might sound extreme, but narcissistic abuse is extreme. If you've been with a narcissist, they are extreme. So of course you're not over it. Within a few weeks, maybe even a couple years, you're still feeling stuck and you're not stuck because you're weak. So I want you to hear that again. You are not stuck because you're weak. You're stuck because you were wounded by this narcissist, by this relationship. So take a deep breath here, pause and just take it. Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth. These are my favorite just to calm down. Breaths like inhaling through the nose, out through the mouth is called halo breathing. It's a type of breath work, and just let this settle in as you do these slow breaths and you're connecting to your body, and when you connect and slow your body down, you can actually hear things like affirmations and meditations a lot more clearly, and it's more likely they will actually sink in. So that's why I want you to just kind of calm your body down. Focus on your inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth and hear this. Healing is not linear and it's not on anyone else's timeline.
(05:29)This is very personal to you and your journey, where you're at, who you are, all sorts of things. So I want you to know that it's not linear and it's your timeline or God's timeline. If you're a God person, I always view it as God's timeline for me. So why do you feel frozen? Let's break this part down. Some of the biggest reasons you may feel like you can't move forward. One, you are afraid of repeating the pattern. Can I get a what? I've heard this one so much from my clients, they are terrified and I was too, but terrified of repeating the pattern. This can be a romantic relationship. This can be friendships. I had some friendships that weren't so hot and I was afraid like, am I a bad friend picker? So you're afraid of repeating this pattern, you got burned. Of course you're scared it will happen again. So that alone can keep you frozen in this hypervigilance. So that's one reason. Another is you lost yourself, okay? You can be found, so don't freak out, but I mean I'm sure you already know and feel because I hear it all the time. I lost myself.
(06:53)It is a phrase I hear all the time, but for so long your identity was shaped by abuse. And again, this could be with parents, this could be with siblings, this could be with a romantic interest, a best friend, a boss. And even if it's not decades, it could be a short amount of time. It still can do a lot of damage. So who you were, what you liked, what you wanted, it all got buried under survival mode and under what they wanted, or you tiptoeing around because you were in fear of them, so therefore you couldn't be your true self. So you did lose part of yourself. Again, you can get it back. Number three, you're subconsciously blaming yourself. You might not even know it. You might know the abuse wasn't your fault. You might still carry guilt, shame, or what if I would've?
(07:56)Just those types of thoughts. That inner narrative can create major resistance from moving forward. It goes along with just not trusting yourself. Having that guilt can lead to feelings of like, oh, I made a poor decision, so I might do that again. Number four, your nervous system is still dysregulated, going back to your body, remembering everything and not being caught up. So even after they're gone or you're not dealing with them in the same way, your body may still be stuck in fight, flight, freeze or fawn. That's why somatic healing is so amazing. If you're a new, here I am a somatic healing facilitator along with a narcissistic abuse recovery coach, and I have a link in the description for the one-on-one somatic healing sessions. I call 'em sparkle sessions. There's also coaching. I always have my information in the description of the podcast, so go check that out.
(09:06)If you are ready to start feeling safe in that body, right, your body remembers it's dysregulated. We want to get it regulated again, and doing that somatic work is the fastest way to do it. So the fifth reason why you may feel frozen is you are grieving the fantasy. You may not miss them, but you miss what you thought was there or the dream of what you wanted to be there. Sometimes we're in denial and we kind of have this ideal, even though we see some things, we glaze over it, we have this dream, the potential what could have been and grieving that can be very complicated, very confusing, but again, it's normal. This is all normal reactions to post narcissistic abuse. Alright, the good part. How do we move forward? Yay. We like the problem solving here. So what do we do with all this, right?
(10:14)Number one, tell yourself the truth. If you have to stare in the mirror every day when you wake up, put it on a post-it on your mirror, add it to I do affirmations. I've talked about that on my phone. Memos, voice memos. Leave yourself a voice memo. You are not stuck because something is wrong with you. You're stuck because something wrong happened to you. I'll say it one more time. You're not stuck because something is wrong with you. You're stuck because something wrong happened to you. Okay, two, here comes that body work gently reconnect with your body. We get very disconnected from our body when we are in survival mode, when we're in fight or flight, right? You're, you're not where you need to be. So let's do a little micro somatic reset together. Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly. If you're driving or something, save this for later. You can just listen. So inhale slowly through your nose for 4, 3, 2, 1, and release slowly.
(11:43)And sometimes when I'm starting out, I just do four in four out to make it easy. You can change it to four and then six. But sometimes if you're just starting with breath work, you can exhale not quite as long, and you never want to do this in a place where you're not sitting or laying. Always be cautious with breath work so you don't get lightheaded. Okay, do another inhale for four seconds in 4, 3, 2, 1, and exhale, 4, 3, 2, 1. Now, do you feel your body settle a little bit, queen? Yes, that is a nervous system reset. Even a minute a day can shift things, right? I'm just showing you a tiny, tiny micro somatic experience, right? It's a tiny one that was under a minute. That can just help you settle a little. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. We have some amazing, amazing exercises in the somatic world.
(12:56)Alright, number three, for how to move forward, take small, doable action. I say doable because I don't like to bite off really big bites that are so overwhelming because after narcissistic abuse, you're already overwhelmed. You don't need to have some huge mountain to climb. So don't aim to sprint. Aim to shift one healthy new habit or one boundary. They're my favorite. One new affirmation a day, just one. Like I said, put one affirmation on a post-it, put it on your mirror and say it when you brush your teeth. One thing, don't overdo it. Don't be like, yes, I want to do this and that. It's too hard to maintain. Okay, and speaking of affirmations, there is a link in the description for my free affirmation bundle just for survivors like you. It is only free for a few more days. So go grab that. Okay, number four, don't do this alone.
(14:07)So moving forward support is so important and healing happens in safe supportive spaces. So we're not lean on your ex narcissist sister. Okay? I'm sure she's lovely. Let's go a little safer, at least for now. Somebody who doesn't have contact in relation with the narcissist is good. So having a friend is important. Then there obviously are podcasts like this. My Thrive in five mini episodes I do on Thursdays are awesome coaching with me one-on-one, a therapist really knows narcissism. They do not all. So do your research and any type of narcissistic abuse support that is valid. There are books out there, some of them are very stale in my opinion. I am working on a course specific to narcissistic abuse recovery. Super excited about that. There are courses out there, whatever you need, don't try to fight it alone, okay? There is absolutely hope so I will drop my coaching info in the description box.
(15:30)Just a reminder, so I do narcissistic abuse recovery coaching, right? Obviously that is my specialty. And in that, yes, it's a lot of talk and that, but if you choose, and I always give the option, we absolutely can. And a lot of people do the somatic exercises too, so it's a good balance. I love, that's my favorite way. I sometimes just do somatic. Some people don't want to talk, they just want to heal through the body. There's some more introverted or private people, they don't want to share their story. We do somatic healing. You don't have to say much. You can tell me what comes up, but you say whatever you want that comes out. But you can sit there for a whole hour and we just do body work and you don't really have to say much at all. And then there's some people who do the somatic sessions and they talk a lot through it.
(16:25)They want a lot's coming up for them, and they're more expressive, like I am. My ass talks through that. I have a somatic facilitator as well, and I talk through my sessions. I'm verbal. I'm visual. So I see a lot and I'm just like, oh, there's this and that. Help me. It helps me analyze it. But whatever style you have, I will be able to work with. I will ask you before the session so I know what do you prefer, any of that. So somatic sparkle sessions are really just focused on the somatic experience, but you can have a little talking in there. Narcissistic abuse, recovery coaching is, I would say mostly talking and we can sprinkle in this somatic experience, but either way, you're going to definitely get healing. And the somatic way is obviously more body-based and we go into meditations, visualizations. It's really great for visual people, but I definitely have clients who are not that visual and we've done other exercises.
(17:38)There's so many different methods. It can be sound, it can be, like I said, visualizations, even future visualizations, repetitive language. There's all sorts of things we can do. And if you want more information, I don't want to sit here and talk about my session for the next half hour or so, but if you have any specific questions or want to know more, there is a link you can look to get more description. But if you have further questions, just email me. My email's always in the description too. I'm just a email away. So you are not behind, you're not broken. You are not stuck forever. Even though it might feel like it, you are healing you listening to this right now, shining a light on it is healing and it takes time. It takes feeling safe and compassion with yourself. Compassion from someone who can support you like myself or a therapist, and the fact you're here listening, learning, that's movement, that's power.
(18:49)You are taking your power back right now. So give yourself a pat on the back. You have moved forward just in the last whatever. How many minutes is this? 18 minutes. Okay, so sip that tea. Remind yourself I'm not stuck. I'm rising. You are rising up. You are not stuck, are you? Maybe not exactly where you want to be. I mean, isn't that most of us, you are rising one sparkle at a time. You are rising up. So check that description for free tools, coaching links, anything and everything you need to keep on rising like the queen, you are.