NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY | Narcissist, Co-Parenting, Grey Rock Method, Boundaries, Healing, Toxic Relationship

5-Minute Fix for Anxiety + Overthinking

Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
Want to work 1:1 with Christy?
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
💌 Questions? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
 
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
Speaker 1 (00:00):
When your mind won't stop racing, second guessing over analyzing, running through worst case scenarios. It is time for a reset. This five minute nervous system practice will bring you back to calm back to your body. Back to now. Let's quiet the noise together. Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath queen. This one's for you. Okay, queen. Take a deep breath in through your nose and slowly out through your mouth. My favorite breath work is the halo breath, which is in through that nose, out through your mouth. Repeat this couple of times in and out until you feel settled.
(01:02)Let your body relax and let's begin. Overthinking happens when your nervous system is overwhelmed. It's your brain's way of trying to solve a problem that doesn't have an immediate solution or maybe doesn't even belong to you anymore. And if you're someone who's experienced trauma or high stress environments, especially emotional abuse, toxic relationships, your brain may have been trained to stay on this high alert. But right now, in this moment here with Queen Krista, Jade, you're safe. You're safe right now and you get to come home to you. So let's name this overthinking. Say this with me. It can be out loud or silently. I will say a few words and break it up so it's easy to memorize so you can repeat it easily repeat after me. I see you overthinking.
(02:17)You're trying to help, but I'm okay right now. Good. So you are not broken for spinning in your head. You are human, you're adapting, but it's time to step off that hamster wheel with love. So let's bring you into your body. This is a great way when you want to get out of your head, you go into your body, it's a little spoiler alert. One of the ways we can get into your body is different ways of grounding. So we're going to do a little trifecta. We're going to touch three things that are around you, feel their texture and say them out loud. For example, I'm touching my green velvet blanket, right? So I can say velvet blanket.
(03:25)Then I'm going to feel the smooth outside of the keyboard on my computer. Smooth keyboard. And there's a tissue over here. I'm going to touch the white tissue. Okay? So touch three things and say them out loud. I will give you time to do that. Okay, now we're going to listen. We're going to name three sounds. You hear, even if they are subtle, it could be a humming fridge, distant traffic. Right now I am hearing the fan going on in my bathroom. It could be the television on in a room that's not yours distant. So name three sounds you here.
(04:43)Great. And finally, name three things you can see this could be colors, shapes, objects. Perfect. You are so good at this. Have you done this before? Okay, so this simple practice, it's very simple, right? It seems like something we would maybe do with the child. And guess what? This is amazing for working with children. I actually do this one with my daughter who sometimes she has a little perfectionism and this will distract her when she gets anxiety. So it sends a message to your brain that says, I'm here. I'm in my body. I'm in the present. So let's go over those again. So you can use them in the future. And you can save this episode as a reminder. But you touch three things, say 'em out loud. Name three sounds, say it out loud and three things you can see saying it out loud. I like to say things out loud, you don't have to, but I recommend it. I feel that helps me be more present. So let's end this practice with some calming affirmations. And I again, will state an affirmation and you just repeat after me. I am safe in this moment. And you can put your hands over your heart, one hand on your heart, one on your stomach, whatever feels good.
(06:33)I am allowed to pause. I release what's not mine to carry. My piece matters more than their approval. I choose to return to me. And if you are in recovery from narcissistic abuse or toxic dynamics, I want you to add this one. They do not get to live in my head anymore. I am free. Okay, so let's do a couple more of those. Inhale, exhale, halos in through the nose, out through the mouth, in through the nose, feeling your shoulders drop out through the mouth chest softening in through the nose, out through the mouth. Your body returning to the now.
(08:12)You don't have to think your way out of everything though. We like to sometimes, right? Sometimes the path just comes after you pause. You are safe and your peace is always worth protecting. So make sure to carve out this time every single day you should be having body time. Let's call it body time queen body time, okay, queen body time at ti. Just play one of my thrive in fives. We are on every single Thursday for around five minutes. It's more today. I think I babbled during some of that, but that's okay. That means we needed it. Okay? So be sure to the podcast, if you haven't, wherever you're listening to this, whatever podcast platform, hit that follow button. So then you get notifications whenever one of my episodes, whether it's Tuesday, longer episode or the Thrive, and five on Thursdays, these little bite-size resets.
(09:15)You will get notification. And if this helps you at all, I would appreciate it so much if you would share it with a friend who lives in her head a little too much too. I feel like we kind of packed together sometimes, right? So you probably know a couple. So if you wouldn't mind sharing this specific podcast, if you think it would help this episode or anything else you think would help, just share it along. You can just copy and paste the link or tell them to search my show Narcissistic Abuse Recovery on their podcast platform. She deserves peace too. So I'm trying to reach anybody I can to help get through this because we can all come out thriving no matter what we've been through. Alright, thank you so much for listening. Have a peaceful day and I'll see you in the next episode.
(10:09)That's your Thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your piece like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment. And check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.

Still Attached to the Narcissist? This Deep Cord-Cutting Will Set You Free

Feel like you know they’re toxic but still feel emotionally hooked? This deep cord-cutting is your sacred reset. Release the energetic ties, reclaim your peace, and feel lighter—fast.
✨ Press play, Queen. Your freedom starts now.
WORK WITH ME 1:1
Somatic Sparkle Sessions:
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
Narcissistic Abuse Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, this episode is for saving, and you can go back to it over and over and over and over again. You might need it. Sometimes we do cord cuttings and they do work immediately. A hundred percent. I have had that happen with one of mine, one of my narcissist cord cuttings, another one where it was someone I had known a lot longer and deeper relationship with. It took somewhat longer a few times, and then sometimes it feels good to just do it if you have any sort of feeling like come back, right? Because nothing's foolproof, like, oh my God, you're never going to think about this person or worry about this person again in your life, right? But I promise you, there is energetic entanglement that does get separated when you do these cord cutting. So stay close. Wait for my amazing intro and then you'll be back. And we're going to dive deep into this cord cutting from a narcissist.
(01:07)Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back while you're in the right place. Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and drive ice and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you, so steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up.
(02:05)Alright, welcome, queen. I am so excited for this episode because these have helped me so much. Oh my gosh. Let me just describe real quick. One of my favorite cord cuttings was from someone I knew from a very, very long time ago, and I was really worried. I had cut them out of my life and was like, this is going to be so hard. So right away, I'm going to do a cord cutting, and I had done cord cuttings before. That's so I had experience with them, so I knew to just do it right away. And I did a cord cutting. It was very powerful. I had some emotions come up. It was a 20 minute one just like this. And the I don't know, difference. It was really night and day right after. And I can't promise you everyone is going to have exact same results, but I do promise you will have some result and feel a change, even if it's a small one.
(03:09)It also depends on how open you are and what you believe. I always say you got to have faith for things to happen. That's just my personal beliefs about a lot of things. But this worked so well for me, especially with that one person. Other ones, like I said earlier, that it might take a little bit longer or a few times. So it depends. Everyone's different. So give it time, give yourself grace, but you will have some transformation of some sort, and definitely save this, save this, save this. Okay, so let's just take a breath for a second. Okay? This is your sacred space here where we're going to do this cutting. This is your moment to realize what no longer serves you. That doesn't mean you're selfish, just means there's something that it's not even just not serving you. It is doing damage to you.
(04:11)So to cut the energetic cords that have kept you tangled in pain, confusion, the chaos of narcissistic abuse, right? We don't want to stay in that spiderweb of hell. So you are safe here in this moment. You are powerful here. You have the power right here. You are coming home to you. So I invite you to take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale. This is the beginning of your new found freedom. Okay? When you feel ready, close your eyes. We're going to do a little breath work to start. Bring both hands to your heart and make sure you are in a quiet space where you will be uninterrupted. Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. These are called halo breaths, and they're my favorite. Again, inhale peace.
(05:30)Exhale tension. Feel your body sink. Sink into whatever piece of furniture floor is supporting you, knowing this is your time. Let your shoulders drop. Unclench your jaw, soften your belly. Now breathe into your heart space. Visualize a soft golden light glowing in the center of your chest, expanding gently with every breath. This is your power center, your intuition, your truth. Now, I want you to imagine standing in a wide open space. It's safe, it's sacred, it's protected before you, and I'm here with you. You're not alone. You're safe before you stand. The image of the narcissist you are cutting ties with, they're only here as a symbol. Okay? You're safe. You're in full control here. They cannot hurt you here.
(07:18)Now, look down between you and this narcissist. There is an energetic cord. What does it look like to you? Is it thick, thin, frayed tight? Is it glowing? Is it dark? Just observe this cord without judgment. There's no right or wrong. It just is what it is. Just be with this cord. This cord has been connected through pain, guilt, trauma, obligation, maybe even love of some sort, familial, romantic friendship, love. But now it's time to release this court. Release these things that you've been carrying, not because you hate, but because you love yourself enough to let go. And I'm going to repeat that because you love yourself enough to let go.
(08:47)It's time to let go. Take a moment now to feel into what this connection has cost you. This might bring up some feelings. Just let them rise up. It's okay. Don't push them away. Just let them bubble up and say these affirmations quietly or aloud after me so you can say them in your mind or speak them out loud. Whatever you are comfortable with, I will say them first and give you time to repeat and go on to the next one. I acknowledge the pain this bond has brought. I acknowledge the way I've ded myself to stay connected.
(09:50)I acknowledge the confusion, the fear, and the self-doubt that's lived in this cord. I acknowledge that I am done, done, shrinking, done, doubting, done carrying energy that is not mine. Now we are getting to the cutting of the cord. Visualize yourself holding a powerful tool of your choice. This may be scissors, a golden sword with some diamonds. That's what I'm using, a beam of light, a torch. Whatever feels strong yet sacred to you. Okay, you've got that in your mind's eye. Raise that tool toward the cord. Now we're going to breathe in deeply through the nose. And on your exhale, you're going to swiftly cut the cord.
(11:30)Exhale, cutting the cord. Now watch it. Watch it fall away. Watch the image of that narcissist, dissolve, disintegrate. Feel your energy shift. Feel it. How does that feel? The lightness in your chest, the strength in your belly, that power and the peace that begins to bloom. Sit in this moment. Let yourself really enjoy this. Tears may come up, confidence may come up. Things you have been sitting on and squishing down may rise. There is a shift. There has been a shift in you. Now say aloud, I'll say it. And then you can repeat after me. I release you.
(12:45)I forgive what I need to for my own healing. I do not need closure. I create my own. The cord is cut, the pattern is broken. The cycle ends with me. Beautiful. Now we're going to seal and protect your energy. So when you feel ready, bring your hands back to your heart. Imagine that golden light in your chest expanding again, but now it begins to wrap around you like a cocoon. This is your shield, your golden shield. No one gets access unless you allow it. Right? You're in control. Repeat after me. I reclaim my energy.
(14:18)I call back every piece of me I gave away. I am whole. I am protected. I am safe in my own body, in my own power. Sit and feel that power for a moment. Breathe it in. Feel nice and strong. Balance that crown on your head, queen. Now visualize roots growing from the soles of your feet down into the earth. You can even picture some golden roots. Notice I like gold. You are grounded, you are anchored, yet you are free. Isn't that an amazing feeling? From here, I invite you to picture your future, the embodiment of you in your future. Feel it. You are light, you are free, you are rising.
(15:59)From this moment forward, the cord remains cut. It cannot reattach. You have already shifted. You've chosen by doing this here today. You have chosen your freedom. Repeat after me. I trust the healing has begun. I trust the Holy Spirit God, or maybe just your higher self is guiding me. I walk in peace. I walk in power, and I never look back. Take one more deep breath through your nose. Exhale. And when you're ready, gently bring awareness back to your body. Wiggle your fingers, roll your shoulders. Do some hip swerves, whatever feels good. And when you are ready, slowly open your eyes.
(17:44)You did something truly powerful today. You don't know anyone. Access to your energy, right? You're allowed to walk away without guilt. You are allowed to protect your own peace. You're allowed to be free. If you found this helpful, make sure to definitely follow the podcast for more healing tools. Thursdays, we do thrive. Thrive to five, I almost said that's not it. Five to thrive. So there are shorter healing methods. And generally on Tuesdays, they're my full episodes. This is kind of a rare one where I'm doing a whole episode related to an actual embodied exercise. But I have been asked to do this several times, so I'm finally doing it. So this is that deeper dive. And last week I did put out a shorter version. If you just want to a quick fix, you can always do that. And if you ever need a full personalized cord cutting, definitely email me.
(18:58)All of my information is always in the description notes. Do not forget to go over there if you want to work with me or purchase my boundaries course, which is amazing. I'm a little biased. Yes I am. But I love it. And I have many, many happy clients that have gone through the boundaries course and have told me all of their amazing shifts in their lives where they have gone from people pleasers to loving themselves, drawing boundaries without guilt, and had really amazing results. Right? So I hope you enjoyed this today. You are not alone. You are rising up like the queen you are. And I will see you in the next episode.
 

Still Energetically Tied to the Narcissist? Cut the Cord in 5 Minutes (Thrive in 5)

Still feeling emotionally or energetically tied to the narcissist—even after going no contact? In this 5-minute mini healing, I’ll walk you through a powerful cord-cutting visualization to help you release their grip and call your energy back to YOU. 👑
✨ Perfect for when you feel drained, triggered, or just can’t stop thinking about them.
Make sure to follow the podcast so you don’t miss the upcoming FULL cord-cutting ritual episode!
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
Want to work 1:1 with Christy?
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
💌 Questions? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
 
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Alright, are you still feeling like they've got a grip on your energy even after you blocked 'em, you deleted them, you have walked away? Well, it's time for a five minute cord cutting reset. Think of it as a mini detox to reclaim your power. And I'll be guiding you through a deeper full cord cutting in a future episode. So make sure you click that follow button on my podcast so you don't miss it. Welcome to your Thursday. Thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you.
(00:44)All right, queen, you've done the thing, you're out, you're healing somehow they're still in your head. You feel like you're in their web, right? They're still draining your energy, still showing up in dreams, thoughts, emotions, even maybe if you're co-parenting you have to have contact. But that is an energetic cord. And today we are going to cut it and this is your mini detox. A quick but still powerful reset. And I will walk you through that fuller one in the future. But this is just going to give us a little bandaid. Alright, so step one, you want to actually visualize the cord. So I want you to close your eyes, breathe in through your nose and out your mouth. Picture a cord stretching between you and this person. See where it's connected to your body. It could be your chest. Where do you feel it? Just whatever pops up. There's no right answer. Your chest, your gut, maybe even your throat. Notice its color, texture, its weight. Does it feel heavy? Does it feel light?
(02:08)This is energetic baggage we are releasing. Alright, and you're a queen, so I know you have some gold scissors, golden, beautiful shiny scissors. And I want you to imagine holding these scissors, they're infused with light truth and your power. Repeat after me. I release this energetic tie. I call my energy back. What's mine returns to me? What's theirs? I release completely. Now cut the cord with your scissors. Feel that freedom. Let the cord dissolve, disintegrate, or burst into light. For step three, we're going to seal and recenter. So place your hands on your heart, breathe in through your nose and release saying, I am whole.
(03:37)I am protected, I am free. And you are queen. We just cleared some space. You just reclaimed some power. So make sure you're following the podcast so you do not miss the full cord cutting that is longer lasting and very, very beneficial for people that are dealing with narcissists who really know how to suck your energy. So that's your in five for today. So don't forget, you own your power, you own these golden scissors and can do this cord cutting anytime. So make sure to save it so you can come back to it for a quick cord cutting and follow. So you will be notified for the full cord cutting coming soon.
(04:38)Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your piece like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment. And check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.

Why You STILL Feel Stuck After Narcissistic Abuse — And How to Finally Move Forward With Peace

Still feeling stuck after leaving the narcissist? You’re not broken—you’re healing. In this episode, Christy breaks down the real reason survivors feel frozen after narcissistic abuse and shares powerful steps to start moving forward with confidence and clarity.
WORK WITH ME 1:1
Somatic Sparkle Sessions:
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
Narcissistic Abuse Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello Queens. Today we're getting real about a feeling that so many women carry in silence after narcissistic abuse. Why can't I move on? Why do you still feel stuck even though they're gone, or at least you're broken up, even if you're co-parenting, but they're like out of your daily life? Why do you still feel stuck? Why do you keep second guessing, freezing up, replaying things in your mind, you just feel like you're not moving forward? If that's you, this episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself and start understanding what's actually happening underneath the surface.
(00:42)Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry ice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you so steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up.
(01:40)Okay, so let's get something straight right now. You are not lazy, broken or weak. You're traumatized and there is a difference. Feeling stuck is often your actual nervous system doing what it was trained to do. So that's a little bit of a relief here, right? It is freezing to survive. You are in survival mode if you're still feeling the stuckness. So after the chaos, and we all know the chaos of narcissistic abuse, the gaslighting invalidation, the emotional whiplash that yo-yo, the up and down, that you're great, you're the worst. All of that, your body gets stuck in a loop and it's not just your mind, it's in your body. So intellectually it's over. And like I said, that could just be in a different way. It's not the daily. It's not the hourly, but it's over in a sense. But your nervous system has not gotten that memo.
(02:45)It's not caught up, and we call this trauma paralysis. It's not that you don't want to move forward, of course you do, but your body, here's the key, your body holds that it remembers all of what's happened. It doesn't feel safe enough to, I want to say that a different way. It doesn't feel safe yet enough to move forward. So we live in this world that pushes quick fixes and snapbacks, right? Like, oh, just let it go. You should be over it by now. Why are you still thinking about them? I have been guilty of this saying this to myself and saying this to others for sure, right? When you're in protection mode over a friend, you might be like, oh, don't worry about them. You shouldn't be thinking about them. You deserve more. Don't even worry about them. All those things are things we say to ourselves, to others, but that's not always the reality, especially with narcissistic abuse.
(03:50)The mindset in that is actually toxic in itself. Narcissistic abuse is not like a regular breakup. It is psychological warfare, and that might sound extreme, but narcissistic abuse is extreme. If you've been with a narcissist, they are extreme. So of course you're not over it. Within a few weeks, maybe even a couple years, you're still feeling stuck and you're not stuck because you're weak. So I want you to hear that again. You are not stuck because you're weak. You're stuck because you were wounded by this narcissist, by this relationship. So take a deep breath here, pause and just take it. Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth. These are my favorite just to calm down. Breaths like inhaling through the nose, out through the mouth is called halo breathing. It's a type of breath work, and just let this settle in as you do these slow breaths and you're connecting to your body, and when you connect and slow your body down, you can actually hear things like affirmations and meditations a lot more clearly, and it's more likely they will actually sink in. So that's why I want you to just kind of calm your body down. Focus on your inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth and hear this. Healing is not linear and it's not on anyone else's timeline.
(05:29)This is very personal to you and your journey, where you're at, who you are, all sorts of things. So I want you to know that it's not linear and it's your timeline or God's timeline. If you're a God person, I always view it as God's timeline for me. So why do you feel frozen? Let's break this part down. Some of the biggest reasons you may feel like you can't move forward. One, you are afraid of repeating the pattern. Can I get a what? I've heard this one so much from my clients, they are terrified and I was too, but terrified of repeating the pattern. This can be a romantic relationship. This can be friendships. I had some friendships that weren't so hot and I was afraid like, am I a bad friend picker? So you're afraid of repeating this pattern, you got burned. Of course you're scared it will happen again. So that alone can keep you frozen in this hypervigilance. So that's one reason. Another is you lost yourself, okay? You can be found, so don't freak out, but I mean I'm sure you already know and feel because I hear it all the time. I lost myself.
(06:53)It is a phrase I hear all the time, but for so long your identity was shaped by abuse. And again, this could be with parents, this could be with siblings, this could be with a romantic interest, a best friend, a boss. And even if it's not decades, it could be a short amount of time. It still can do a lot of damage. So who you were, what you liked, what you wanted, it all got buried under survival mode and under what they wanted, or you tiptoeing around because you were in fear of them, so therefore you couldn't be your true self. So you did lose part of yourself. Again, you can get it back. Number three, you're subconsciously blaming yourself. You might not even know it. You might know the abuse wasn't your fault. You might still carry guilt, shame, or what if I would've?
(07:56)Just those types of thoughts. That inner narrative can create major resistance from moving forward. It goes along with just not trusting yourself. Having that guilt can lead to feelings of like, oh, I made a poor decision, so I might do that again. Number four, your nervous system is still dysregulated, going back to your body, remembering everything and not being caught up. So even after they're gone or you're not dealing with them in the same way, your body may still be stuck in fight, flight, freeze or fawn. That's why somatic healing is so amazing. If you're a new, here I am a somatic healing facilitator along with a narcissistic abuse recovery coach, and I have a link in the description for the one-on-one somatic healing sessions. I call 'em sparkle sessions. There's also coaching. I always have my information in the description of the podcast, so go check that out.
(09:06)If you are ready to start feeling safe in that body, right, your body remembers it's dysregulated. We want to get it regulated again, and doing that somatic work is the fastest way to do it. So the fifth reason why you may feel frozen is you are grieving the fantasy. You may not miss them, but you miss what you thought was there or the dream of what you wanted to be there. Sometimes we're in denial and we kind of have this ideal, even though we see some things, we glaze over it, we have this dream, the potential what could have been and grieving that can be very complicated, very confusing, but again, it's normal. This is all normal reactions to post narcissistic abuse. Alright, the good part. How do we move forward? Yay. We like the problem solving here. So what do we do with all this, right?
(10:14)Number one, tell yourself the truth. If you have to stare in the mirror every day when you wake up, put it on a post-it on your mirror, add it to I do affirmations. I've talked about that on my phone. Memos, voice memos. Leave yourself a voice memo. You are not stuck because something is wrong with you. You're stuck because something wrong happened to you. I'll say it one more time. You're not stuck because something is wrong with you. You're stuck because something wrong happened to you. Okay, two, here comes that body work gently reconnect with your body. We get very disconnected from our body when we are in survival mode, when we're in fight or flight, right? You're, you're not where you need to be. So let's do a little micro somatic reset together. Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly. If you're driving or something, save this for later. You can just listen. So inhale slowly through your nose for 4, 3, 2, 1, and release slowly.
(11:43)And sometimes when I'm starting out, I just do four in four out to make it easy. You can change it to four and then six. But sometimes if you're just starting with breath work, you can exhale not quite as long, and you never want to do this in a place where you're not sitting or laying. Always be cautious with breath work so you don't get lightheaded. Okay, do another inhale for four seconds in 4, 3, 2, 1, and exhale, 4, 3, 2, 1. Now, do you feel your body settle a little bit, queen? Yes, that is a nervous system reset. Even a minute a day can shift things, right? I'm just showing you a tiny, tiny micro somatic experience, right? It's a tiny one that was under a minute. That can just help you settle a little. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. We have some amazing, amazing exercises in the somatic world.
(12:56)Alright, number three, for how to move forward, take small, doable action. I say doable because I don't like to bite off really big bites that are so overwhelming because after narcissistic abuse, you're already overwhelmed. You don't need to have some huge mountain to climb. So don't aim to sprint. Aim to shift one healthy new habit or one boundary. They're my favorite. One new affirmation a day, just one. Like I said, put one affirmation on a post-it, put it on your mirror and say it when you brush your teeth. One thing, don't overdo it. Don't be like, yes, I want to do this and that. It's too hard to maintain. Okay, and speaking of affirmations, there is a link in the description for my free affirmation bundle just for survivors like you. It is only free for a few more days. So go grab that. Okay, number four, don't do this alone.
(14:07)So moving forward support is so important and healing happens in safe supportive spaces. So we're not lean on your ex narcissist sister. Okay? I'm sure she's lovely. Let's go a little safer, at least for now. Somebody who doesn't have contact in relation with the narcissist is good. So having a friend is important. Then there obviously are podcasts like this. My Thrive in five mini episodes I do on Thursdays are awesome coaching with me one-on-one, a therapist really knows narcissism. They do not all. So do your research and any type of narcissistic abuse support that is valid. There are books out there, some of them are very stale in my opinion. I am working on a course specific to narcissistic abuse recovery. Super excited about that. There are courses out there, whatever you need, don't try to fight it alone, okay? There is absolutely hope so I will drop my coaching info in the description box.
(15:30)Just a reminder, so I do narcissistic abuse recovery coaching, right? Obviously that is my specialty. And in that, yes, it's a lot of talk and that, but if you choose, and I always give the option, we absolutely can. And a lot of people do the somatic exercises too, so it's a good balance. I love, that's my favorite way. I sometimes just do somatic. Some people don't want to talk, they just want to heal through the body. There's some more introverted or private people, they don't want to share their story. We do somatic healing. You don't have to say much. You can tell me what comes up, but you say whatever you want that comes out. But you can sit there for a whole hour and we just do body work and you don't really have to say much at all. And then there's some people who do the somatic sessions and they talk a lot through it.
(16:25)They want a lot's coming up for them, and they're more expressive, like I am. My ass talks through that. I have a somatic facilitator as well, and I talk through my sessions. I'm verbal. I'm visual. So I see a lot and I'm just like, oh, there's this and that. Help me. It helps me analyze it. But whatever style you have, I will be able to work with. I will ask you before the session so I know what do you prefer, any of that. So somatic sparkle sessions are really just focused on the somatic experience, but you can have a little talking in there. Narcissistic abuse, recovery coaching is, I would say mostly talking and we can sprinkle in this somatic experience, but either way, you're going to definitely get healing. And the somatic way is obviously more body-based and we go into meditations, visualizations. It's really great for visual people, but I definitely have clients who are not that visual and we've done other exercises.
(17:38)There's so many different methods. It can be sound, it can be, like I said, visualizations, even future visualizations, repetitive language. There's all sorts of things we can do. And if you want more information, I don't want to sit here and talk about my session for the next half hour or so, but if you have any specific questions or want to know more, there is a link you can look to get more description. But if you have further questions, just email me. My email's always in the description too. I'm just a email away. So you are not behind, you're not broken. You are not stuck forever. Even though it might feel like it, you are healing you listening to this right now, shining a light on it is healing and it takes time. It takes feeling safe and compassion with yourself. Compassion from someone who can support you like myself or a therapist, and the fact you're here listening, learning, that's movement, that's power.
(18:49)You are taking your power back right now. So give yourself a pat on the back. You have moved forward just in the last whatever. How many minutes is this? 18 minutes. Okay, so sip that tea. Remind yourself I'm not stuck. I'm rising. You are rising up. You are not stuck, are you? Maybe not exactly where you want to be. I mean, isn't that most of us, you are rising one sparkle at a time. You are rising up. So check that description for free tools, coaching links, anything and everything you need to keep on rising like the queen, you are.

Narcissist Driving You Crazy Again? Try This 5-Minute Reset to Reclaim Your Peace (Thrive in 5)

Feeling triggered by a narcissist’s mind games? This 5-minute Thrive in Five episode is your reset button. Join me for two powerful somatic tools—the Queen Shake-Off and the vagus nerve hum—to help release anxious energy, regulate your nervous system, and return to peace. Save this episode for anytime your crown feels wobbly, and remember: you’re not crazy, you’re just healing. 💫
 
Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
Want to work 1:1 with Christy?
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
💌 Questions? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I am so excited for this week's Thursday, thrive in five, which is your five minute pause from the madness, the manipulation, the WTF moments that only a narcissist can deliver. So lovely. So take a breath queen. This one is for when your peace is under attack. Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. Okay, let me guess. You're getting triggered. They're texting, gaslighting, triangulating, or playing the victim like it's their full-time job, which it is. And suddenly you're right back in this emotional spin cycle. So first I need you to breathe, pause, and we are going to reset together. So first, here's your truth, right? Their behavior is not a reflection of you or your worth or any of that.
(01:11)It is a reflection of their disorder, their wounds, and their refusal to heal. There are people that will help themselves. Narcissists mostly are not, so you don't have to fix it. You don't have to respond unless of course there's legal stuff where you have to and you don't have to absorb their chaos. So we're going to do two resets today. Two choices. You can pick one, pick both if you're really having a time of it. So the somatic reset, number one is the queen shake off. Yes, we're adding queen in there. I want you to feel like a queen when you're shaking. So stand up if you can. Otherwise you can kind of do this while you're sitting, but stand up, shake your hands rapidly. You are getting this anxious energy, this chaotic energy that has infiltrated your body. You're shaking it off right? So start with your hands, shaking, shaking, shaking, and start to shake your arms.
(02:24)I like how I'm doing this right now. It's like I can't say the words without doing it, so hopefully it won't mess up my voice here. Then roll your shoulders back, roll your shoulders back, keep going. All right. Now while you're doing this, you're shaking, you're rolling your shoulders so you kind of look crazy. That's okay, we're here for it. Now, bounce lightly on your toes. So you're shaking, you're rolling, you are bouncing, you are getting this energy going through your body. This energy needs to go somewhere and say out loud, this energy is not mine. I release it. Okay, repeat it after me. This energy is not mine.
(03:18)I release it. This moves the adrenaline and cortisol out of your system and it's starting to tell your body, we are safe now. We are safe now. And if you want to get really cuckoo with it, which sometimes I do because I'm a cuckoo queen, you can run in place while you are doing this, right? So after you're bouncing, you start getting faster, faster into a running in place, shaking your hands and shoulders rolling and running in place. If you really have a lot of pent up energy and you go, go, go, go, go. And you'll know, your body will start to feel like, okay, I'm finally getting this out. You can start to wind down when you feel that. Then you can take some nice slow breaths. So this is just a practice. You can do it with me now for a few seconds, but you can do it later.
(04:16)Save this episode. This is an important one to have saved so you can go back to it every time. Sometimes it helps to just have someone's voice say, Hey, this is what you need to do. Because when you're going through manipulation and gaslighting and whatever, you get confused. Your brain's all fluffed around. It really helps to have a focus of someone's voice telling you what you need to do, even if it's something simple that typically you can remember when you're in this mindset and being jacked up emotionally by somebody, you're not in the same frequency that you need to be. So you might need a little guidance, that's fine. So save this episode and come back to it and you can do it longer if you need to. So then you're going to wind down once you're shaking and rolling and running or whatever, getting that energy out, and then you are safe now, right?
(05:13)And I would hold my hand to my heart and say, I am safe. Okay? Number two, somatic reset. Number two is the vagus nerve. Hum. If you have heard of the vagus nerve, it is connected to all things of balancing the nervous system. So you place one hand on your chest and one on your belly, take a deep breath in, and as you exhale, you hum low and long. So, and you repeat that just two to three times, this stimulates that vagus nerve, and that's your body's natural, calm the hell down button. Okay? So that is a really great automatic way to reset. So again, you repeat that low hum two to three times, and here's your reminder. You're not crazy. You're being activated by a pattern that used to control you, but today you're going to handle it differently. It's all on how we deal with things, right?
(06:23)Lemons to lemonade. You are self-regulating, stepping into your power instead of letting someone take it from you and you're in charge, not them, right? So you get to say, I'm having these feelings. I'm not going to take the bait. I'm not going to react back to them. I am going to shake it off, or I'm going to home. Home. That was so creep. I'll never do that again. So that is your thriving vibe. Like I said, please save this episode because if you are going to save any episodes, this is a very good one to save because it is like one of those quick fixes. Okay, you got this now go sip your tea, adjust your crown and protect your piece. It's got a restraining order against toxic energy. It should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment, and check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.

Still Not Feeling Like You After Narcissistic Abuse? Here’s How It Rewired Your Brain—And What Actually Heals It

Is your brain still stuck in survival mode after narcissistic abuse? 👑 In this episode, I’m breaking down how abuse secretly rewires your brain — and how you can start healing it today. Plus, grab my free affirmation list and check out the links for somatic healing sessions and private recovery coaching if you're ready to go deeper. Healing is possible, Queen — and it starts now. 💖
Grab a Somatic Sparkle Session with Christy!
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
Want to do 1:1 narcissistic abuse recovery coaching with Christy?
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello Queens and welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery with Christy Jade. Today we're diving into something that literally changes everything once you know it. The hidden ways narcissistic abuse rewires your brain and how to heal it because what fun is it if we don't fix it, right? So if you've ever wondered why you sometimes feel stuck, scared, or even addicted to toxic patterns, it's not just in your head, well, it's actually in your head, in your brain wiring, and today I'm breaking it all down in a way that is hopefully empowering, not overwhelming. Let's jump in.
(00:42)Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up.
(01:40)So first, quick brain science 1 0 1. Our brains are constantly adapting. It's called neuroplasticity. And when we go through narcissistic abuse, especially over long periods, our brain adapts, but it's in this survival mode way, right? Well ways. So here's what that can often look like. This first one I knew I always had, but I really didn't understand why until I really did my own education and research and really dove into the narcissistic world. But hyper vigilance, this is always scanning for danger. Even subconsciously, you may not even notice you do it because if you kind of had this going on since childhood, then that's something that may have mostly been there because you've always been doing it. So you really don't know any different. But subconsciously you are always scanning for something to go wrong even when you're safe now. And even if this isn't just in emotional relationship wise, it can go into other parts of your life.
(02:59)You can even be in a parking lot and be really looking around and anxious thinking that something's going to happen because of a totally unrelated situation. But you have that hypervigilance that just bleeds into all areas of your life, which is what did happen to me. So I'm very familiar with that one, and you may be too. Another one is people pleasing and fawning. So this is a very common one with a lot of my clients. I myself was not a people pleaser in general, but with certain, I would say in my family, I people pleased in a lot of situations due to this. So your brain has learned to be agreeable to keep you safer, right? Because if you are in a narcissistic, abusive situation, you get manipulated, you get gaslit, you get tricked, you get mind ed, whatever you want to call it.
(04:01)So your brain wants to protect itself and it knows if you are not agreeable, you can get hurt, and that could be emotionally, physically, in whatever ways. So your brain's trying to keep you safe. Then there's the self-doubt and the gaslighting loops. And this one is what drives us batty, right? It has driven us. If you've been through narcissistic abuse specifically or you're wondering if you are, this is a good sign, right? With narcissists, there is no doubt you have been gaslit. So you start to question your own instincts and memories while you're in the situation. And even if you are out of the situation for years, that can still definitely be there if you have not healed it and done the work, right? So you question your own thoughts, your own feelings. Did that even happen that way? Because that's kind of how your brain was trained.
(05:03)And the last one we're going to talk about today is the addiction to validation. And I just know everyone basically listening right here can really relate to this. You chase these crumbs of approval because your brain was trained to seek safety through what those external love bombs. So you're chasing these little crumbs because it feels a lot better when you finally get those love bombs. It's like this weird addiction to saying, oh, okay, I am safe in this moment. In between the unsafe moments, we become addicted to the love bombs, to the feeling special, to all the manipulation. So none of this is your fault. I want to throw that out there. So can you just take a moment and breathe? Take a nice breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. This is not your fault, none of this. Your brain was trying to protect you because something was happening bad to you.
(06:22)You did not do this. This is not your fault. But the beautiful part is if it rewired once, right? This has been wired, all of this, it can rewire again. So a lot of people think, oh, the damage is done, this is done. No, we can rewire this in your favor. So now to the good start, the good start, the good stuff, how to start healing and rewire your brain. So the good news is the neuroplasticity is not just how the damage happened. Like I said, it's how you heal too. So what has been done can be undone. So I'm excited about that part. Yay, we love that. And I am proof. I have had a lot of rewiring done. It is amazing. And I remember in the beginning kind of being skeptical and I think it even works faster the more you agree to believe from the get go.
(07:26)So maybe you can move faster than I did, but I still move pretty quickly with my rewiring. So we're going to talk about four powerful ways to start healing and retraining that beautiful queen brain of yours. Alright? Number one is, if you don't know if you are new here, I am a somatic healing facilitator. So this is one of my favorite things in the world, somatic work. This is getting out of your head and into your body. I want any time, first, I'm just going to throw this before I go into it, throw this in there. If you could take anything from this podcast episode, when you are feeling stressed out, anxiety, questioning yourself, looking over your shoulder, waiting for that shoe to drop any of these outcomes of being abused, I want you to think to yourself, get out of your head and into your body.
(08:24)Get out of your head and into your body. This is crucial, and I'm just saying that as a little tip, but the big work is deeper work, right? It's ongoing work. It's really creating and carving out the time to do this work, this somatic work. So this can be breath work, this can be grounding, this can be meditation, visualizations. I teach in yoga. That's a great way too. Shaking it out. Screaming into a pillow is literally somatic work that can be done. And all of this getting out of your head and into your body sends an I am safe message to your nervous system, okay? It is sending your nervous system a message. It is getting closer to safety. It might take some time. The first time you do breath work, you're not going to be magically healed. That's just not how it works. Rewiring can take some time, but it does not have to take as much time as you probably think.
(09:32)So I actually offer personalized somatic healing sessions if you want deeper support. They are magical. I have plenty of very happy clients and testimonials if you want, but I will link my somatic sessions. I call 'em sparkle sessions in the description box so you can check that out and see if that's an option for you. Alright, going into the next one, affirmations and new dialogue. It's a similar thing as far as the repetition part of it, right? The brain listens to repetition. That's why daily affirmations, and I did these in the beginning. I still do daily affirmations, but I did a long list of them and I did them very frequently in the beginning. And you don't have to overwhelm yourself, but I definitely recommend when you wake up and right before you go to sleep. And what I did in the beginning was recorded myself on my voice memos on my phone.
(10:35)I recorded, it was about, I think then I think it was 20 minutes. It was a long one, and you don't have to do that. If that overwhelms, you start with a 10 minute one and you can build up if you want, if you want. But mine was, I really dove in and I did a 20 minute affirmation. I have a list of affirmations actually that I can also link. It's free that you can start using or you can create your own. I'll put that in the description box. But daily affirmations are one of the most powerful healing tools. You've probably heard about them because it's cliche, but I always say, well, cliches are cliche for a reason because they work. So I really, really highly recommend daily affirmations. Like I said, in the morning when you wake up and right before bed is when your brain is most open to receiving and rewiring.
(11:33)So it's a beautiful time. Also, if you do hypnotherapy, which I am going to try for the first time, I'm doing hypnotherapy and a couple of weeks and I am so excited, I will report back. I will do an episode about it. Actually, maybe I can interview her on here. Oh, that would be fun. So squirrel. I have a squirrel brain, you guys, okay, keep up with me. So affirmations, new dialogue, and really doing those when your brain is most open, but you can do 'em. I set timers even for myself at lunchtime and then like an afternoon one, and I do prayer and affirmations. Boom, boom. Shakalaka. Let's go to number three. My favorite word in the world, what is it? Boundaries. Boundaries as healing tools. Ironically, I did not set it up this way. I also have a boundaries course for you guys.
(12:30)It's like every one of these lines up with what I have as far as offers. That's cool. I did not plan it. It sounds like I did. But every boundary you hold reinforces to your brain. It's saying, I am safe. I am protecting myself. Now here's the news, fresh, no one's going to protect us. We protect ourselves, but you have to protect yourself. That's the key there, right? That's something that, I know it sounds silly and I'm kind of laughing at myself saying it because it sounds silly, but that is a truth and it's an unfortunate truth. But really, people aren't going to protect us like we protect ourselves.
(13:17)And especially if you have a history of abuse, you may not trust anyone too at this point anyway, right? It's great to trust people, but you might not be there and that's okay. So your best way to protect your peace, that gold bubble, we like to talk about that golden peace bubble pictured around you. I love her. Okay? That's your boundary bubble, and that's how you keep yourself safe. And in turn, you keep your family safe, your kids safe. It is a domino effect. So every boundary, every time you set a new boundary, that golden bubble is getting stronger and stronger and more indestructible. God, I love boundaries. All right, number four, self validation, practice validation. We all need that. I mean, coming out of narcissistic abuse, that is a word I hear over and over. I want to feel validated. It's like you have been so invalidated going through what you've been through and even after, sometimes even when you're out of a situation, you still question yourself.
(14:30)So it's like, God, it feels so good to be validated, and it's great to get that external validation from someone like me, a coach, a narcissistic abuse coach cheering you on, validating you. That's great. A therapist is great. That really good BF of yours, that was like I told you to get out of that relationship and I'm going to validate the shit out of you. She's great too. But guess what? You have to validate your own feelings and experiences without waiting for others to agree. You got to get to that point and build your brain strength and resilience. And again, this might not be overnight, okay? Do not feel bad. Give yourself grace. Give yourself time. But you look in that mirror and you say you know the truth. You know what happened, your feelings are valid, your memory is correct. You could do affirmations with self validation, but that self validation, that is something when you get there, it's huge.
(15:39)It's a huge healing. So healing is not about doing everything perfectly, but it is about consistent tiny wins that stack up. I always say sparkle by sparkle, right? People say brick by brick, I prefer sparkles. And those rewired patterns, they become your new normal. And it's amazing. I can't tell you the difference in my life. I mean, even five years ago, you guys, I wish I could draw a visual of it because it is insane how it's affected my entire life where I didn't realize, I didn't realize how much it affected even my work, how it affected just how I view myself, friendships, motherhood. I mean, this stuff affects every part of us. So the more you heal, it's like this beautiful unlayering of a lotus flower petals. Yeah, I'm getting woo woo here, just layer after layer. It's like, oh my gosh, look at, and it happens quickly because like I said, you're healing one thing.
(17:05)It has that domino effect of healing where it's going into other parts and you're just like, oh my gosh, wow, this is, I start making more money. That's a true thing. I started making more money. I started just magnetizing a much more quality level of friends. I mean, it's a whole other episode I could do, but just when you shift and you get healthier, your life gets healthier all the way around. So I know it's kind of a side tangent because I'm a squirrel squirrel, but it will become your new normal and it will be a beautiful new normal. Okay, so what time is it? How long? 17 minutes. Let's do a little visualization, a real quick one. Okay. So if you're in a spot where you can close your eyes, close your eyes. If you are driving, just soak this in. Do not close your eyes.
(18:02)And do not get distracted by me. You could even turn me down or turn me off, or pause me because I don't want to distract you from driving. If you're in a place where you can be in the quiet, snuggle up with a little blinky, take some breaths, let's do a little visualization. Okay? So imagine a warm golden bubble surrounding your entire body, just this glowing golden light and a sphere around your whole body encompassing everything from your top of your head to your feet. Or if you're sitting down just wrapping around your spine, your legs, all the way under you, feel it seeping into every cell, breathing in, rewiring you with peace.
(19:06)Imagine that peace traveling all around you, that calm, neutralizing, and just calming everything down. Then imagine the power. Maybe you feel you've lost power. It's time for that power to come back, that power seeping through all of your cells and now a protection, a strength, traveling around that bubble through every cell of your body. You've got peace, power, protection. You are safe in this bubble. You are strong in this bubble, you are free. Breathe that truth in. You are safe, you are strong, you are free, and know you are healing. Even now, right in this moment, right in this one minute exercise, you are healing. Isn't that amazing?
(20:27)Okay, so that's it for today's episode. If this spoke to your heart, do not forget to follow the show. It's so important. Follow me, follow me. And if you could leave a quick review on Apple, it helps this message reach even more incredible women who deserve this healing too. So please take 30 seconds to go click the little five star. If you scroll down on my main page of my podcast, you scroll all the way down. I dunno if it's all the way down, but if you scroll down, you'll see five stars. Just click that fifth star because I deserve five stars. I mean, we just did a fun little thing. Come on. Come on. I'm Christie. I'm just kidding. And if you're ready to go deeper, I do offer private one-on-one narcissistic abuse recovery coaching. I have gotten questions recently. Is it actually me and not a team of coaches?
(21:17)Yes. I like to keep this intimate as long as I can. So I'm going to, and so yes, I work, I do some group coaching. So we can customize your healing journey together in that one-on-one coaching. And you can find all the info linked in the description box below. Remember, there's that also Empowered Boundaries course. There's affirmations. They're all the goods. So make sure to check out that. And there's a Facebook page, a private free Facebook group that you can join as well. So go check the description box out. And remember, healing is not just possible. It's inevitable when you keep showing up, right? It's that consistency. So keep showing up to my podcast. Keep showing up for yourself, sign up for somatic session, whatever it is, and until next time, protect your peace girl. Okay? Get in that bubble. You look so good in gold.
 

Grieving Someone Who’s Still Alive? Try This 5-Minute Meditation to Release the Pain of Estranged Relationships (Thrive in 5)

You can still love them… and still need distance.In this 5-minute guided meditation, we gently release the guilt, grief, and “should-haves” that come with estranged or toxic relationships—especially those involving narcissistic parents, siblings, or partners.
This is your moment to reconnect with peace, honor your heart, and remember that walking away doesn’t mean you didn’t love—it means you finally started loving you.
Press play, take a breath, and let go with grace, Queen. 💛
Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
Want to work 1:1 with Christy?
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
💌 Questions? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
 

Hoover Who? How to Spot, Stop, and Shut Down Narcissistic Hoovering Like a Queen

Ever get a “Nobody gets me like you” text from a narcissist you tried to keep away from? Or the ol’ “I had a dream about you…” 🙄 Don’t fall for the bait, babe — it’s called hoovering, and it’s a manipulative mind game meant to suck you back in.
In this juicy, no-fluff episode, I'm breaking down exactly what narcissistic hoovering looks like (spoiler: it's NOT about love — it's about control). You'll learn:
Why they come back just when you’re glowing up 🌟
What “supply” really means (and why they’re desperate for yours)
How to handle hoovering like a boundary-setting queen 👑
My 3 Queen Rules to stay blocked, blessed, and unbothered 💅
Plus: Affirmations to protect your energy + your peace
You are not a vending machine for their broken ego. You're a whole QUEEN. Let’s armor up, get savvy, and stay unshakably in our peace bubble. 🫧
"Grey Rock Method " Episode mentioned:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-grey-rock-method-how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist/id1662241353?i=1000648879776
Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
Want to work 1:1 with Christy?
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
💌 Questions? Email me anytime — I got you. FierceMamaC@gmail.com
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
 
TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello Queens. Welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery with me, your host, Christie Jade. It is my birthday, so I'm feeling all sorts of grateful and sparkly today. So I wanted to just shout out to all of you listeners and clients, thank you. Thank you so much for being on this journey and supporting me and being a part of my peace bubble. So I hope that I've helped you maintain your peace bubble and learn how to stay in your peace bubble and spread your peace bubble. We're all about peace bubbling today. Alright, so first of all, what is that? Just checking in that I miss you. The weird birthday text. Speaking of birthdays, out of nowhere, if you have been no contact or even low contact and you feel like that narcissist is trying to wiggle their way back in, that is Hoovering. It is called Hoovering. That is the name. So we're going to break it down and make sure that you are blocked, blessed, and unbothered by their hoovering. So stay close and we will dive right in.
(01:12)Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back while you're in the right place. Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice and how to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up.
(02:11)Okay, so if you don't know what hoovering is, some of you may, some of you may not. If you don't know what exactly it is, it comes from the Hoover vacuum. Yeah, the actual vacuum, because the narcissist is trying to suck you back in after a discard or a period of silence. They usually go through these rotations of behaviors. So they will often build you up, discard you, suck you back in. It's somewhat of an abusive cycle. They may say things like, I've been thinking about you or I can't, can't stop dreaming about you. Or I had a dream about you. I've changed. Let's talk this out. Or Hey, you good, right? These little things that may seem innocent, but when you're dealing with a narcissist, there is no innocence and they all have a manipulation, some string attacked, right? There's all meaning and intention behind everything they do, and they might even go dramatic, and I've definitely had this in my past.
(03:20)The showing up unannounced, sending flowers, my flowers all came after poor treatment. That's part of the regular abuse cycle. Then you had a narcissist in all sorts of fun, pretending to be sick to get your attention or suddenly becoming spiritual or like, oh, I'm going to go to therapy, and it just is very sudden and there's a reason for that. It is because they are trying desperately to get control of you again, because if you haven't listened to all my podcasts, here's a giveaway, not a giveaway like here's some money and some flowers giveaway. But a giveaway of something that narcissists always are doing is either trying to gain control or get control back checking if they have control. It's all about control. So whenever these things happen, even if they have discarded you, they want to know they have control of you. So they're going to do all of these hoovering techniques to check and to see if they have control or if not, they're going to try to get it back through the same techniques.
(04:34)So it's not about love. It's not about really wanting you back. I'm sorry you are special, but you don't need this narcissist to make you feel that way because it's BS coming from them and it's about control. They're not actually seeking connection with you. They are seeking access. I'm going to repeat that again. They aren't seeking connection and it can be tricky. I get it. I've been there, but they are just seeking access to you, and if you let them in again, they will just restart the same manipulation cycle over and over. So don't let that shiny sparkle bait fool you. Right? What do I always say? Don't take the bait. I think I'll make t-shirts. Don't take the bait because the fish hook, it's still there. So why do they hoover? So let's say you've moved on, which most of you listening, most of who I work with are people who have moved on from an actual relationship or have moved on and are getting sucked back in and are trying to stay out.
(05:45)So you have moved on and they feel it and they hate losing their supply. If you don't know what supply is, these are energy vampires and they need supply to build their egos and to get that control. We talked about the more healed and distant you are, which they feel, they can feel that, right? They sense it, whether it's just obviously in a physical way, you're not around them, you're not answering their calls or emotionally or energetically. They can feel you going further and further. The more desperate they become. They sense that you are getting healthier. They sense that you are growing, they sense you are self caring, all of those things, and it makes their ego panic. So that's one reason why another, they are testing your boundaries. You're starting to show boundary setting. It's one of my favorite words, but it is not their favorite word.
(06:48)It is their least favorite word. They want to see if you will bite though, if they can still reel you in and know that they still have that power over you. That's a game. It is a game to them, and it ends up being a deep wound to you. You have these wounds to them, it is a game. Do not play their game, homie. Don't play that. We're not going to play their game. Okay? Number three, they're bored or they need a hit of validation. This is just slimy feeling, but it's true. So they're low on their narcissistic supply and you have been a reliable source before they go to the easiest targets. If they've already had you and they know they can have that power over, that's a lot easier than starting with someone new. So they'll come sniffing back around and it is gross and a tb gbs and we're not here for it.
(07:46)And you're better than that, right? You are not a vending machine for their broken self-worth. You are a queen. Okay? So how do you respond like this queen? What do you do? Here are my three queen rules to handle this like the powerful goddess who are all right. Number one, no response is a response. I know some of you still have that guilt where you feel like, oh, if I don't respond, no respond, I'm a bad feeling, a bad person. Or they may feel bad even though you know they're rotten. You still don't want to make anyone feel bad. They just have this pull over you. But silence is a full sentence. You do not owe them closure. You don't owe them anything. You don't owe them a response. You don't owe them kindness. You owe yourself peace. If you're in a situation where you can block them, delete them, do all of that, do it.
(08:49)That is my recommendation. If you need to work with me to get there, please reach out to me. I will put information in the show notes. Email me if the link, for some reason, a link. Last week, someone wrote me and said, my link did not work. I don't know why I have to check on that. Always email me if something doesn't work, email me. But they're usually good. I don't know what happened. So make sure, I'm so glad that they still reached out via email, so now we can work together. So I'm sorry about that. If anyone else tried to sign up and couldn't, but working one-on-one with me, we can work through a lot of this stuff that is hard to do on your own. I get it. So you need to protect your space. You deserve that. Now, number two, expect the Hoover and prepare.
(09:36)You could even keep a little Hoover folder on your phone. You could put a little vacuum emoji. Do they have a vacuum emoji? I hope so. And put screenshots of lies. They said any of their toxic behavior, chaos. You could write in your little notes section on your phone, just write notes. Things that I used to do this with an ex I had that was horrendous. I had back in my day when this was going on, I didn't really have notes and everything on my phone. Our phones weren't as efficient as they are now, and I kept a piece of paper. I remember it had 33 things on it. I still remember the number. 33 things that I could read whenever I felt like whenever he'd read. He would show up in the middle of the night with flowers. He would leave stuff on my car.
(10:24)He'd cry and leave messages and poetry, everything. So I would take this paper out and just read over and over to not get sucked back in because he had that power over me until he didn't. So that's a way to do it. Now, you don't have to carry it around in your purse. You can put it on your phone. And when you start to feel shaky, you're going to pull back into the web. Nostalgic, you remember the truth. What is the truth? It is easy for it to slip. I get it. So keep notes, screenshots. Have a little folder on your phone and just either put a spider web or a Hoover vacuum right on there. Number three, energetically shut it down. You can do affirmations. You can do somatic healing with me. But even starting with some affirmations that you repeat every day, especially in the beginning, multiple times a day, have them on your phone in that folder, right?
(11:25)I am unavailable for manipulation. My piece is protected. My energy is sacred. Say it. Feel it, believe it. Part of it is really getting those things down, and it's not overnight, but the more you do this stuff and the more hand to heart, and I know other people have gone through this and gone to the other side and gotten away, gotten out, haven't got pulled back in. It's possible. It's possible for you. If I can do it, you can do it. Trust me. It's not easy for anybody. And if you are still in contact, this is for co-parents or shared responsibilities, if you're still in contact, because you have to be, you can still do the Gray Rock Method. Some of this stuff you can use as well. But the Gray Rock Method is your bff. I will put that in the podcast notes, the description, be boring, be dry, give them nothing emotionally.
(12:33)Do not take their bait. The Great Rock method is brilliant. We love it. We love it. But that's where the power is, right? And it's hard, and you might mess up and you start over. That's okay. Don't beat yourself up. We're not perfect. But the more you practice it, the more you become that gray rock. It is one of the best tactics for narcissists because eventually they get bored. Will they come try to Hoover again? Yeah, gray rock. Gray rock, gray rock as much as you possibly can. It should be a hundred percent of the time. But again, we're not perfect. So that is a really important method here. If some of these things you can't do, if you can't totally block, which I always want to say this to my co-parents, depending on your situation, talk to your lawyer about getting on a third party app where that's the only way you communicate that should be allowed. You can add that to the addendum of your divorce decree.
(13:40)Some of my clients do email only, but there's third party apps that you can have, I think your lawyer on, and don't quote me on this, I am not a legal person. I just hear things and I pass them on. In this situation, if you want to ask me questions or you want to ask me about the apps, I can check in with other people I know for specific app names. Maybe I'll do actually an episode on that. But I am not here for legal advice. Okay? I'm throwing that out there. But I do believe if you talk to your lawyer, you can figure out a way where you do not have to have, I feel like texts are worse. People get more emotional in texts. They feel like they have more access to you. Email can be more formal. And then if you put a third party on an app, then they know they're being watched by somebody else and they either behave better or if they don't, it's right there and your lawyers see it and it's there for the courts.
(14:42)Everything's documented and saved on this app, and it's a beautiful thing. So that's just a little tip. Yeah, and tell me, you guys in my Facebook group, if you're not in it, go join it. By the way, that'll be in the description as always. Come join my Facebook group. It's private and free, but tell me in there, you can always message me on Facebook or Instagram or just write a post and tell me if you guys want more information on divorce tips, if you need that. Okay, so I know how tempting it can be to peek at the messages, wonder if they've changed or even just respond out of habit or guilt, right? But let this be your reminder. You are not who you were when they last had true access to you. You are healing, you are rising, you are glowing like a damn queen.
(15:42)You're reclaiming and it scares them, and that's good. You can let it scare them. But that's why they are grabbing back. They feel a lack of control. They feel you are stretching away from them, and it's all about the power. So if you want extra help setting powerful boundaries that stick, grab My Empowered Boundaries course. This is it's good stuff and it's packed with everything you need to keep these narcissists out. And your piece in. I'll put that link in the description. If this episode hit home, share it with the fellow queen who needs that Hoover proof armor, because we got to keep each other safe on these streets. No, let's keep each other strong. I want to help as many women as I can and men too. If there's men out there listening, great, share it with your brothers, your sisters, anybody out there?
(16:48)I would just want to help as many people as I can, be able to stay away from these toxic people and toxic relationships. You deserve so much better. So let's be before we go, let's go back to that affirmation from earlier. There's going to be three. I'm going to add the fourth because I always have to have my special one at the end. So if you're in a space where you can hands to heart, shut your eyes. Don't shut your eyes. If you're driving, take a couple deep breaths in through your nose, out through your mouth. That's called a halo breath. And breathwork is part of Somatic Healing, which I am a facilitator for. If you're interested in that, breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth, and repeat after me. I am unavailable for manipulation.
(17:48)My is protected. My energy is sacred. I'm a queen. Yes, queen, yes, queen. I love it. All right, so I want you to just let this episode really set in Hoovering. It's mind boggling, it's confusing, but remember that you are stronger than their games and they're tricks. You're seeing them now. And I'm not saying that it makes it easy, but it does make it easier. Once you see what they do more clearly and more clearly, you'll get so much smarter and stronger with this. Okay, so the little check-ins, the I miss you, the, oh, remember, here's our song. Or, oh, you're the only person I remember those texts. You're the only person who gets me, or you're the only person who would understand this. It worked okay. It worked on me many, many moons ago. Now I see right through it, but it took time. So give yourself a break. If you get pulled back and you've gone back and forth, don't beat yourself up. But you're here now. You are doing the work. I'm so proud of you and I'm here for you if you want to work one-on-one together, or if you want my boundaries course. And if you have any questions, feel free to email me. I will talk to you in the next episode. Have a beautiful week, smooches.

Why You Are Still Attracted to Narcissists ( And How to Break the Pattern )

Ever wonder why you keep attracting narcissists, control freaks, or just plain toxic people — even after doing all the healing things?
Spoiler alert: It’s not your fault... but it is your time to break the cycle. 👑
In this juicy episode, I’m spilling the truth about:
Why chaos can feel like chemistry 💣
How childhood wounds + nervous system wiring keep you stuck
The surprising reason you confuse anxiety for butterflies
And the exact tools to shift your energy, raise your standards, and finally attract what you deserve — peace, safety, and healthy love 🙌
If you’re ready to stop calling crumbs a meal and start walking in your QUEEN energy… this one’s for you.
Press play, babe. Let’s break this pattern together. 💥✨
Join my free private facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
 
Grab your Narcissist Abuse Recovery Journey to Peace Call and Blueprint with Christy:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
Somatic Healing Session with Christy
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/somatic-sparkle-healing-sessions/
My Empowered Boundaries Course:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
 
EMAIL ME! fiercemamac@gmail.com
 
Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
 
BOOK MENTIONED:
https://a.co/d/8er9jzd
 
TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to, but rewind reverse. It's not, but still she thrives. Not anymore. Christie's throwing a fast one. Yes, I have changed my title. If you didn't see in the podcast artwork or on the title, it is now called Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. We are getting very clear, very straightforward, so more people will know what my title means so they know how I help people so I can help more people. Makes sense, right? So when I first started this podcast, I didn't know if I wanted to just have it be narcissistic abuse. I thought maybe I want to branch out. And the more I do it, the more I just love helping you guys specifically with narcissistic abuse recovery. I know there are some episodes that will help people still in the mix, but my specialty is helping people who are out of narcissistic toxic relationships, right?
(01:05)I have a lot of people co-parenting with narcissists, or you have disconnected from a family member and you're dealing with the aftermath of that. Or maybe you are on the verge of deciding what to do and you need a little boost. We're here to catch you and do the journey with you. So the brand as a whole, just not to confuse you, everything will still be narcissistic abuse. I am going to get really into the recovery, really focusing on the recovery, how you can break the patterns we're talking about today, how you can help your nervous system, how you can trust yourself again and rebuild the life you want. So that is the general idea. There's going to be obviously so much more, but really we're focusing mostly on the recovery. So today's episode is why you're still attracted to narcissists and how to break the pattern. So stay close.
(02:05)Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you want to stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal. Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind ed, girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace.
(03:03)All right? So have you ever felt like a freaking magnet in your heart has only attracted narcissists or control freaks, manipulators, people that you have to walk on eggshells? This could be romantic relationships, friendships, Donald down the street. I don't know anybody. It just seems like you seem to attract energy. Vampires, manipulators, gaslight or whatever. You're like, why does this keep happening? So there is a reason that this does happen, but it's nothing wrong with you, okay? It's a truth bomb, but the good news, it's nothing wrong with you. But there are reasons this happens. And first of all, childhood conditioning is a thing that is when because of your environment growing up, which I would say a large part of you who have been in narcissistic relationships that were chosen probably had some stuff going on in childhood that could have led you that way.
(04:13)There is a small percentage that it could be people pleasing personality, but oftentimes that can be caused over people. Pleasers can be caused by something that has happened or a dynamic in a family in childhood. But either way, most, I would say most have unmet emotional needs during childhood, which creates this familiarity with emotionally distant or even abusive partners that we experience. You've either got people who dismiss you or could take or leave you, or you're always last place in the family unit. And then there are the abusive partners, obviously the narcissistic partners, and you really have just this familiarity with and accept that because of the familiarity, it could be, I don't really know any better. It could be like, well, subconsciously this feels safe and familiar to me and it's not your fault. So that's the good news. So the other thing, there's a couple other things.
(05:18)Repetition, compulsion. So this is where you actually subconsciously are creating, you recreate the old dynamics that you used to have. Let's say you get out of a toxic relationship, your body subconsciously will almost seek out those similar situations hoping to fix it, to rewrite it, to rewire. Our body is amazing and layered. So luckily we don't have to go through it time and time again to fix it. That's where all of our little coping and healing methods and methodologies come into play. And then there's nervous system addiction. This one is huge. This one you may have heard of before, even if you didn't know what it was called. It's where chaos can feel like chemistry, right? Those big highs. It's actually chaos. When you fight, you fight hard. And it's like, I feel like I always mention Eminem and Kim Eminem, if you're old enough to know Eminem, do younger kids know Eminem?
(06:23)Now, I don't even know Marshall Mathers, but it's those high highs and low lows, and just that chaos is you view it as a chemistry when you've been wired for dysfunction, whether that be earlier in your childhood or even let's say you had a long dysfunctional relationship, a very codependent relationship, and then you break out of it. But there's an addiction to that drama, to that chaos. You've heard people addicted to drama. That's what it is. Okay? So what feels like love is often just your nervous system recognizing it's old dance partner drama. Well, ain't that some shit? You're like, well, that's great. Well don't worry. Don't worry. We'll get help. That's why we're here. So let's talk energy because it's not just about seeing the red flags that you ignored in other relationships, friendships or red flags that were there in your family, but you couldn't do much about because you were living under their roof, whatever.
(07:31)It's, it's also about your frequency. So trauma actually lowers your energetic frequency. I'm going to say that again. Trauma lowers your energetic frequency, making you a match for who? People who feed off pain, they always say like narcissists generally have a type. It's people they can feed off of and it's off of the pain, not the peace. When you have a narcissist, they have no fun with people who are really feeling healthy and peaceful and confident. That's not a match, right? That's not going to work because that confident, peaceful person is going to feel that wrath of a narcissist and never be okay with it. And again, this isn't your fault that you've been okay with it or you've been this energetic match, right? But it can come from childhood stuff like we talked about trauma, lack of self-worth, and that leads you to accept crumbs.
(08:40)Can we talk about the damn crumbs, these narcissists drop? I'm going to give you a little crumb here and there and beat your body, mind and soul in between. Yeah, that was fun. Let's not do that again, right? But that's from that lack of self worth. So there's also the intuition versus fear where sometimes we mistake anxiety instead of anxiety. We're viewing it as butterflies because first of all, do you know that you actually have very similar energetic frequencies when you have anxiety versus when you have butterflies and excitement? So the body itself can get a little confused. But when you have trauma and all of the stuff that we have gone through, no one has taught us that difference, and we haven't had good healthy environments or relationships to go by where it's like the good butterflies. So we are mistaking anxiety, the walking on eggshells, that fear for butterflies because that is what we're used to, kind of goes back to what you're familiar with, but also no one was there to teach us that difference, and I'm here to teach you that difference. So stay tuned. There will be more episodes about that.
(10:02)So this is where you have to tap into that inner sparkle, right? Getting reconnected to yourself. This is one of my hugest things I talk about in my coaching. We start out every coaching, I don't care if you've already done it with somebody else in therapy, whatever we do, a hell yes, hell no system that will knock your socks off. It's going to re-identify you get down to what is a yes in your no, a no in your life. You're going to get to really know yourself on a deeper level and connect with yourself. Again, it's your inner sparkle, I call it, right? You can call it intuition, you can call it holy spirit, activate whatever you want, but I call it inner sparkle. And when you don't feel safe within you will confuse chaos for connection. But when you reconnect to you that inner sparkle, God, intuition, whatever you want to call it, truth to me, it's truth to it's your truth.
(11:06)It's God's truth, the truth that is you. When you connect to that and you can, I know you're like, but I don't even know where to start. I'm going to help you. You start acting entirely different. And when you act different, you think different. What else? You attract differently. You attract differently, okay, this is science. Science, yay. All right, so that's all great. How do we break the patterns? So now we empower her, that inner sparkle inside of you. We're going to give her some tools and say, let's do this. We're going to put her crown on because she's a queen. And like I said, we start with this. Hell yes, hell no list, revisit. This is a zoomed outlook. Obviously when you work with me, this is very detailed and it will be transformational. It will be life-changing. But I'm going to zoom out.
(12:07)You can start somewhere. This is your homework. If you want to work with me, we'll get to that in a second. The hell yes, hell no list. Revisit what actually feels good in relationships. And you're using this as your internal compass. So when we do this, this is something you do on your own, but then we also come back together and I help guide you. And if you need help relearning some of these things, I listen to what your inner dialogue is and we kind of evaluate, go back and forth, and I ask questions to get you to come to your own truth, your inner truth, that inner sparkle, right? Then the self-trust rebuild. I get it. If you're just out of a relationship for even years out and haven't done the work, you're like, I don't trust myself. Are you kidding? Look what I put up with.
(12:56)Look what I let my kids go through. Whatever. I've heard it all. So you're doing some intuitive journaling, re-parenting yourself. Maybe you didn't get parented how you should have. You've got affirmations. I see you, I hear you, I got you to yourself. Do you know how powerful that is to just hold yourself and say, I got you. You were not held and got you. Weren't that the way you should have been? So I got you. Now, showing up for yourself builds that self-trust. There's a lot that goes into that somatic healing. One of my favorite things to do. Your body holds the blueprint to ever rethink. Your body remembers. There's a great book called the Bobby. The body remembers. Maybe Bobby does too. I don't know who he is. I have a cousin, Bobby, maybe it's him. No, but the body remembers. I will try to think to link that in my description.
(13:58)If not, it's an easy title. Remember, go look on Amazon, the body remembers it's a great book, but your body holds the blueprint. We use breathwork, we use grounding. My meditation bundle that you get free with a lot of my programs is amazing. My four minute start today, I give that free to everybody who joins my email list or my Facebook group. You guys have probably gotten that if you've joined either of those things. It's a four minute start your day meditation. I am huge into meditation. It has changed my life. Don't poo poo it till you do it. And that starts to regulate and recognize true safety. And for anyone who says, oh, meditation, I don't have the time for that. Do you have the time for this? I don't think so. Do you have time for bullshit? No. Let's do a little meditating.
(14:52)Anyway. So you want to regulate and recognize true safety. True safety. Imagine what that you get to feel that again. Or if you never felt it at all since you were born, since you were a kid, you get to know what safety is. Yes, please sign me up. All right. One of my favorite words in the world is boundaries. I have a whole freaking course on this, A 10 video course. I'll put that in the description box. But boundaries as protection and magnetism, right? We know boundaries is protection. Everyone talks about it. Oh, boundary up, right? Boundaries. Keep your peace protected. Protect your peace with the big bubble. I always talk about the damn peace bubble, but when you own your power inside of that bubble, when you're finally like, yep, I got this. I've got my walls up. It doesn't have to be perfect for it to be successful, let me tell you that too.
(15:56)Okay? I've had my slip ups of boundaries, but overall successful as hell, the wrong people fall off when you are owning your power, period. Ex point, maybe a no, drop the question mark. We'll not question ourselves. We've got self-trust boundaries. I love that as a magnet to the right ones coming into your life. This is new friendships. These are very healthy people in relationships that want to build you up and want to hold you and say, I got you too. Yeah, you got to get yourself. But guess what? It is icing on top to have a partner that you don't have to walk on eggshells. That you don't have to wonder, do they even have my back? You don't have to wonder if I say this. Are they going to do this right? I mean, we all have our shit. We're all going to have minor conflicts or we're people, people in the world, we're human.
(17:04)But if there's patterns of just not feeling good enough for your partner, imagine what that would feel like to have a partner you feel safe with and they are attracted to you because you know who you are. That's when you find true love. And I will say that about when I found my husband. I really was very strong in who I was. I had a lot more confidence than even five years prior. And it was kind of like when I finally was comfortable, maybe it's more comfortable, I felt more comfortable and sure of myself. I feel like when I actually attracted my husband, the healthiest human in the world, I still pinch myself. And I'm like, is this real life? But I did a lot of work to get there. I did. I had a couple nutty ass exes. Sorry, exes. If you're listening, you probably know you're nutty a little bit, don't you?
(18:10)Definite. I can think of one who dev land, some major narcissistic traits, and it was always about him, very dismissive, not very nice with the words. Sometimes I would say emotionally abusive. Luckily I wasn't physically abusive because I would've cry. He chopped his face. But I'm telling you the difference of after I got out of the relationship and I went to more therapy and I started just working on my self-esteem more. And even though I didn't know it was narcissism at the time, really, I wrote a lot. I journaled a lot. I did a lot of work. And I hate to call it work because I actually enjoy doing it, but it's what it's called. Soul work. Does that sound better? Soul work? But I journaled. I went deep. What is it about him? What is he really bringing me? And it was almost nothing, right?
(19:11)I mean, even our good moments, they were always followed by a very steep hill down. So I'm getting way off topic here, but I'm trying to just convey to you that when you magnetize a healthy person, and I think this is what's hard, sometimes you can't see over that hill because all is this side of the hill. And I'm trying to scream from up here. I promise you, the peace you feel is worth the work, the soul work. It's worth the pain and hardships that do come with being strong, cutting off toxic people, whatever you need to do. It's not always easy work to build a bubble and protect yourself and do what's right for you and for let's say your kids or whatever it is. Your correct, yes, the right, yes in your life, your purpose. If you're a God person, I can speak from the God point of view.
(20:14)I'm a God person. I walk in God's purpose every day, and I know damn well what is not a part of that purpose. And it's not pain. It's not saying we never have pain, but it is not knowingly going into pain day after day, walking on eggshells, accepting abuse. That's not it. That's not love. And I am up on this mountain up here, this hill, because you can get up here with me. I'm going to reach down and pull you the hell up with me. I'm up here. It is so peaceful and it is so worth the journey. So if you want to walk in this journey, you need someone there with you. I will put the different ways to work with me in the description. If you want to email me and ask more about working with me, I do somatic healing, I do just coaching.
(21:14)I can do little mix of both. And I have my boundaries course that I've sold a lot of lately, and people are writing and loving it. It is empowered boundaries. So I'll link that and I will put my somatic healing link in there as well. And we can start off with just a touchpoint session. And if you just want to talk and have a free chat, I'll put in a link there too to see if you are a match for what I do, to see where we could go in this journey together. Because I'm telling you, the piece on this side is I didn't know it existed. I feel like it's the same thing as my husband. I always say I didn't know someone like him really actually existed. And I'm not joking or being cutesy and romantic when I say that. Because of that frequency I was at, I attracted some low dudes, some low energy dudes.
(22:19)And like I said, I got my frequency up. I attracted him, and I almost sabotaged that. That's the story for another episode. If you all want that, let me know in the Facebook community group, go join that. If you're not in it, I'll link that. All the links, all the fun. But because I was like, it was almost like I felt like this is too good to be true. And I was terrified. It felt very unfamiliar. Obviously I'd never had anyone like him and I almost sabotaged it, but I got smart and I fixed it. I'm smarter and I look anyway. I'm so passionate. I'm running out of vocal chords here, so I will end this episode. But yes, I'll put the ways to work with me, my boundaries, courses in there. That is, it drips out every week, one episode or video, whatever, every week so you don't overwhelm yourself.
(23:25)And it's really, really good information if you suck at boundaries there, it's lemme speak frankly. And if you want to work in more of a customized way, then we can grab a free call. Or if you want to just jump in and jump on a somatic healing coaching call, we can do that. And if you just want to say, hi, I am always available on email and you can hit me up on Instagram and have you noticed a pattern in the kind of people you attract, hit me up, share that with me. And I am fierce. Christie, Jade on Instagram. If you are on Instagram, go follow me over there and say hello. And yeah, let me know. Is there a pattern that you feel like there's a specific type of person you attract? I'd love to hear. Alright, so you guys, thank you so much for being my support on this podcast.
(24:20)I'm so excited for the name change and I feel like there's also this uplevel energetic boost with it. So let's go rah rah Mbba. Before we have our three outgoing, what is it called? Affirmations. Is that it? Yeah. All right, let's have some affirmations. Take a deep breath. If you're new here, you just breathe in through the nose, out the mouth. That's called a halo breath. My favorite breath. Whoever knew one day I'd say I have a favorite breath. 10-year-old man. Did not know that. But here I am. All right, you're going to start with, let's do I attract. Alright, we'll do repeat after me. I attract healthy individuals. Our next one. My frequency is higher every day. And last but never least because I'm a queen. Yes, shine that crown, baby. I will see you in the next episode. Have eight. Beautiful day.

Emotional Healing Through Decluttering & My Declutter Challenge

Decluttering has become such buzz word a hot topic. Marie Kondo really exploded it. But her style is too overwhelming for people who have gone through trauma. I have found a great technique that works wonders for people like you and I who already have overwhelm and need to do things bit by bit AKA sparkle by sparkle! So let's talk about how my declutter technique actually helps HEAL more than your home!
My Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ChristyJade
WAYS TO WORK WITH ME:
Intake “Power Hour” coaching call 
https://calendly.com/butstillshethrives/intakecall
1 month coaching  package 
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 
3 month coaching package (with unlimited voxer access between calls)
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 
TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1: (00:00)Hello? Hello. Today we are going to talk about decluttering. This is something I've been dabbling with leading on my YouTube channel for years. It is one of the things I do that, uh, people get a little excited about. So I was like, why don't I do a lovely little podcast about the relation between decluttering and healing. So that's what we're gonna talk about. So stay close, and if you're on YouTube, you can stare at my face as I talk. And if you're on podcast, here's my voice. Hello. And you podcasters get a special little intro. Do, do, do. Speaker 1: (00:46)Hey Queens, welcome to, but still, she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal. Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? And mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christie. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kinda lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up, ladies, let's go protect our peace. Speaker 1: (01:43)But now we're back from the intro. Alright, so like I said, we are going to dive into decluttering for emotional healings today. Now decluttering, it's, it's become such a, I don't know, like a hot word, hot topic. Marie Kondo really exploded it. Ali Caza, who is one of my actual mentors, um, also really became, well, well-known for her declutter course, and then she became a bestselling author with her book called Declutter Like a mother that I highly recommend. And she's amazing. Um, and it just has become such a thing because it can have so many benefits besides the obvious just decluttering your space. So I wanted to talk about, for people who have gone through trauma or just are overwhelmed at a really deep level where overwhelm leads their life and they have high anxiety or depression, your space can get out of, can get out of control, right? Speaker 1: (02:51)So decluttering can have many positive effects on the mental and emotional wellbeing, which contributes to healing. So your healing journey, if you're listening to me on my normal podcast about narcissism and abuse and how to make life better in general, you're someone who is probably on a healing journey or getting there. So here are some reasons why decluttering can be beneficial. And we might have a follow-up episode with this. Um, depending on how well it's received. If, if the people wanna hear more about decluttering, let me know. So first of all, the obvious one I think most of us know is reduced stress, because clutter in your living space can create visual chaos and can contribute to feelings of o overwhelm. Not everybody has this, but a lot of people who already feel overwhelmed and anxious. This can definitely happen to, if your space is cluttered and there's a lot of just things that ever, basically every item you have, you have to manage. Speaker 1: (03:58)So if you're someone who's overwhelmed, you're already feeling overwhelmed by decision fatigue, just making all sorts of decisions and actions. Maybe you're juggling your work, your home life, your kids, your friendships, travels, whatever. There's, there's a lot of balls we have in the air, especially I know a lot of you are moms like I am. So when you have that more organized, serene environment, it can reduce the stress and promote that sense of calm that we're striving for, right? A lot of us are like, I just wanna have calm. I wanna feel like I have my together. And when your house is, for me, I, this goes hand in hand. I am so tied to my environment, like hands down. I used to say to my mom, like, you'll know how my week's going. If you look at my room when I was like a teenager, right? Speaker 1: (05:00)Like having a good week, it was kind of tidy, feeling stressed out and overwhelmed. It was reflected in my environment. I think that's pretty common. So that can also though be like chicken and egg, where by doing these declutters, I'm actually doing a declutter challenge on my YouTube right now. It's a 30 day challenge. So if you're on my YouTube, go check those out. If you haven't, if you are not on my YouTube, go find me. I'm Christy Jade, C-H-R-I-S-T-Y, Jade. And you'll see my declutter series has started, and I have previous past Declutters on there too. Um, but I do declutter in a dash and I do that for people like myself and others like me that get overwhelmed easily. And the Marie Kondo ain't working because we don't, we cannot, we don't have the capacity to pull out an entire wardrobe, lay it on our bed and pretend we're gonna actually get that done quickly and we're gonna end up having to sleep in the guest room, right? Speaker 1: (06:06)Like, I don't have the capacity to do these huge overhauls. Occasionally I'll do one if I'm in that spirit of life, but, but it's rare. These mini declutters are where it's at for people like us. It is, I'd say 10 to 30 minutes tops is ideal. And that's also including the time you take to, um, allocate the items that either go to the trash or giveaway or to like another room, right? So anyway, I'm getting sidetracked here, but I, that's kind of like the intro into it is, yes, it reduces stress. This, this is how and why, and in these mini sessions is the best way for people like you and I to do this, right? If you have an, a big chunk of time and a big chunk of money, it's great if you can have someone come in and like redo everything in a few days. Speaker 1: (07:04)But the everyday person doesn't have that. Okay? Number two, another way that decluttering helps is improved focus and productivity. Productivity. I always say that word, word anyway, because a clutter-free space allows you to focus better on the tasks. Again, I will work from home. If I'm sitting there either on the phone with a client or typing up doing all the backend stuff that I do for my business, and there's a pile of laundry to the right of me on a chair, where is my attention gonna be? It's gonna be split. So it's so important to keep things decluttered and keep up with, um, cleaning routines, which I, if you guys want me to, um, I will also, you can email me, my email's always in the show notes. You can email and ask me my cleaning routine right now. It is just, it's awesome. Um, it, it's very helpful for keeping up with it with cleaning and laundry. Speaker 1: (08:11)Laundry is a big one. Oh, okay. Knocking stuff over. So you're less likely to be distracted by the mess, which can lead to increased productivity, right? And that sense of I've accomplished something. So that is number two. Number three, enhanced emotional wellbeing. As I talked about, physical clutter can be often a reflection of your mental clutter. So sorting through your, and organizing your belongings. That's why I was saying the chicken and egg right can help you process and release emotional attachment to objects. And again, this is a process, but it can be cathartic. Um, I've done it even with, let's say in the past, like when I had like ex-boyfriend stuff, you know, I had a little bin of, you know, the cards and mementos and stuff and it was like, I wasn't excited to do it, but when I finally did it and released that quote clutter, it did help release, right? Speaker 1: (09:19)Because I don't have that in my space anymore. The, I'm a big energy person, if you don't know that about me, and even knowing it's in my space is taking up some, some of that emotional space, that emotional clutter, because I don't need from my ex-boyfriend if I'm not with my boyfriend, right? I even did it with an old friend. We had a little box that were cheesy butts, um, of cards and just same type of thing, tickets. And yeah, there were some good memories, but, um, she wasn't so kind to me in the end. And so there was a, they were tainted anyway. And so I released those and just having that out of my space. And I know that's, you know, like past this and that. But there can also be things like, um, let's say like things with negative associations. Like let's say you're a prom dress, you just hold onto it for nostalgia. Speaker 1: (10:21)But whenever you see it in your closet, let's say you have in your closet, it's just in the back there and it's like, oh, nostalgia. But let's say you've gained some weight. I just know this has happened to some people. I've had client that held onto a lot of clothes from the past and she'd gained weight and it was a reminder, like every time she looked at it, she'd feel bad about herself. And I'm like, girl, first of all, that was like 20 years ago. We've all grown and you are a new you and that is holding you back. And we don't wanna feel stuck, right? I'm like, antis, stuckness. That's what all my coaching is about. We don't wanna be stuck. We want to be living in the now and looking forward to the future, creating the future we want. So does staring at things that are, have negative feelings, like listen to your body, booboos, you're looking at something in your closet and it makes you feel bad, get rid of it, right? Speaker 1: (11:18)So that's another kind of angle on the emotional wellbeing aspect. Number four, clear reminded, this goes hand in hand kind of with, I was saying you're working from home or just in general, but a tidy space often does translate to a clearer mind. And when you remove the clutter, you may find it easier to think clearly. So besides being a distraction, like you're looking at that laundry pile, I do again, believe in the energy of when there's a bunch of chaos around. It is harder for me to think, even if I'm not looking at it, even if I'm staring at my screen. It's kind of just knowing it's there and feeling this like chaotic energy around, right? So decluttering is creating a more harmonious and positive environment. I noticed that just today I took down my, I had a bunch of Christmas stuff up and we took, you know, we took it down like a week ago or something. Speaker 1: (12:14)Um, but I, I have felt more at peace in my living room. I love Christmas. I love Christmas decor, but with a child, the decor got a little outta hand and she likes all little things and plays with them. I'm like, I know I'm gonna miss this one day. So I take it all out. But it felt so calm having so much less stuff around after the holiday, clear out, you know, number six, increased self-esteem. So actually accomplishing the task of doing the decluttering, that alone can build your confidence and self-esteem. I know it does for me. I'm like, look at me. Go look at me. Declutter the crap outta my kitchen. Go ahead girl. Getting rid of all those VAEs yesterday. Um, it shows that you have the ability to take control of your surroundings, which sometimes we feel like we're out of control. Speaker 1: (13:08)Like we don't have control. Like we don't have our together. So even that's what I love. I'm very immediate satisfaction and I know a lot of my followers are too, right? I tend to attract people like myself. That's a thing with a lot of, I don't know what you call me, I don't wanna say I'm an influencer, but like whatever a a, I'm a vibe . No, but I'm, I'm in a public space, right? And a lot of times you will attract people that are like you. So knowing what I know from talking to my followers, my subscribers and just knowing how the world works with when you follow people, it's 'cause you resonate usually, right? Um, it, I think we have this love the dopamine hit of like doing something quickly and feeling accomplished and good about it. Like, yes, I did that and not having it take, you know, two months to, to complete. Speaker 1: (14:04)That's why I love these quick declutters. 'cause it's like, yes, I did that look, yes. Ooh, I cleared out a a drawer in like seven minutes and I have like, you know, a third more space and that feels good and I did that and I can, it's like a reminder. I can take control of things even if it's little by little, right? Because that can, that's a whole other story. But that can relate to, and that's how I do my coaching as well. We can't do everything at once, but little by little it really feels better than you might think. And you, it's like a snowball effect where the, the more you do those little by little, the bigger the impact, the bigger the effect. And it's amazing. And that's why I love coaching. 'cause it's so fun to watch people grow so quickly. Um, but it is kind of, I call it sparkle by a sparkle. Speaker 1: (14:55)So that self-esteem will rise. Number seven, space for new beginnings. La la la. So decluttering can be symbolic of letting go of the past, like I mentioned, and making room for new. And this is, this is your environment. This is also decluttering those nasty, toxic people outta your life. That, that was like a benefit I had of when I kind of decluttered a lot of, not just physical, but just I did a lot of work emotionally years ago. And it was, it was hard, but, but distancing from toxic anything or chaotic anything, environment people. Um, I did a lot of it and it was like a lot to handle 'cause it was a lot at once. But I will say holy cannoli, yeah, I said holy cannoli, the space it opened up for new people that I didn't even know. Like, such empowering, uplifting women even existed honestly, that were like, that I had access to. Speaker 1: (16:04)If that makes sense. You know, you see women like motivational speakers or whatever, these, you know, people that seem far off, but these are like real life everyday women that I have become friends with. And I would not have had the open space if I wouldn't have taken out the toxic people out of my life. And it's similar, right? With decluttering. I mean that's a tip in general, that's always a tip for me. But talking about our physical space, same thing. Clear out what is not working for you, right? You get rid of those nine pairs of old pants that you just don't fit in and they make you feel bad. Get rid of those and maybe go get yourself a couple pairs of cute new pants that make you feel good, that fit you now. And you're looking in the mirror and you're like, Gina, I do still got it. Speaker 1: (16:53)Okay. Um, so the space for new beginnings, I love that. And last, there's, there's more benefits, but I'm gonna wrap it up with number eight, better physical health. So a clutter, flee, flea. Flea, a clutter-free environment can be easier to maintain and clean. So first of all, the time you get back, I just wanna throw that, that's kind of, that's physical health related to in a way, but it's also, it's separate. The time you get back is insane. The less you have, the less you have to clean and manage every single item you have to manage. Imagine, think about all the items you have in your house. Picture 'em. Gosh, like that's, that for me is a reminder. Whenever I feel like, oh, I don't know if I wanna get rid of this. I do sit and think about Christie, think about all the stuff you have. Speaker 1: (17:44)Imagine all of it. That's so overwhelming to think about. This will feel good to just get rid of it. Get rid of it, right? So all the things that are not working for you, that means they are working against you, that's against your health. Also. The more stuff you have, the less clean, the more allergens you have. I know that for a fact when I lived in a one bedroom apartment with all wood floors and barely anything in it, my allergies were not as bad as when I moved in a house with a bunch of carpet and accumulated a lot of stuff. Uh, huge difference, right? And just creating like a healthier living space, right? And I will say this, when I do these declutters, I get more steps in getting those steps in through decluttering, organizing. It's, I don't know, it's my like hyperfocus right now. Speaker 1: (18:40)And I love it because I'm getting my steps in on top of my workouts. I'm gonna dance class, um, aiming four times a week and it's a great free way to get a workout, right? You're going from room to room. Like you can make it more time. I know we're doing the declutter in a dash, but that's 10 minutes of some sort of physical activity. And if you wanna go for 30, you wanna go for an hour 'cause you have the time that day or you wanna allocate that time, say, oh, I could do that. That could be in my workout dance while you're doing it. You know, I do. I mean, not on camera 'cause you couldn't hear me, but when I clean and I organize on my own, declutter on my own, I jam out and dance and bop around. So burn, burn, baby burn. Speaker 1: (19:30)So remember, the process of decluttering is personal and the benefits do vary from person to person. Oh, someone's beeping me. Um, it's not just about tidying up the physical space, but creating the mental and emotional space, right? It's all intertwined. And I know it's not easy, but what I always try to do with my clients in my coaching world with decluttering, whatever it is, is I'm trying to help make life more fun. At the end of the day, I want life to be simpler and fun for you and decluttering, doing it in a dash, I hope is feels lighter for you and that you can look forward to it and say, oh, I, I got 10 minutes. I gotta a half hour instead of like, these major overhauls that are so overwhelming. And maybe we have the energy to do that sometimes, and that's cool. Speaker 1: (20:32)But if you are like me, I do not have that often. And these, I do get excited to do these with you guys and I just love doing this declutter challenge and I might continue it or I don't know, you'll, you guys, I'll get your feedback toward the end of it. Um, if you want me to continue or do a new challenge, like an organizational challenge. But it's, it's very freeing feeling and it's simple. It's, you know, it's just, and when you get into that daily habit, it's so helpful. So again, if you're on YouTube watching me, just go to my channel where you already are and um, watch my declutters subscribe if you're not subscribed. And if you are listening and you didn't even know I had a YouTube channel surprise, I have YouTube channel and I do, I don't know, I do random. Speaker 1: (21:22)I'm random Christie. So I do declutters, I do makeup videos. I might start a series on Wednesday nights of past dating stories. I thought that would be fun. My husband thought that was like a grand idea. He actually, I think he gave it to me when I was telling dating stories because I have crazy, insane dating stories. So that could be fun. Um, but yeah, I'm just, you know, I'm just me just living my best life, trying to have fun, keep things peaceful and simple, but have fun doing it right, like healing. I love a good heel. Healing can be fun too. So if you're looking for help in that area, on the emotional side, I am a light. I don't like to even say life coach. I need to find a new name for myself. But basically, especially if you've been through some stuff and you're just not feeling good and you want that sparkly life, that just joy. Speaker 1: (22:16)Like we're not, we're not looking to be, you know, queen of the entire world, but we're queens. That's my thing. We are queens and we should treat ourselves like queens. Other people should treat us like queens. I'm not saying 'cause we're better. We're all deserving. God created us right? As these people who should not be, um, what's the word I'm looking? Suffering basically, right? Like we should, he doesn't want us to suffer every day. He's sky daddy. That's why I call him Sky Daddy wants us to live our purpose. And if you're not a God person, that's cool. It's your higher, higher person. What's it called? Your higher self, right? What's your higher self want? And there's so many ways to help heal yourself. And I do believe decluttering. It sounds so weird. Like, oh, decluttering is healing, but it truly is. And I can vouch for it because whenever I do it, I feel such a dopamine hit and that like, like I said, this accomplished. Speaker 1: (23:21)Like, yeah, I did it. You know, I'm doing the thing even if it's bit by bit. Um, so thank you for listening. If you're on audio, hello. Hello. Come join my YouTube and if you can see my face, hi. I can't even see my face. I don't even have my thing on right now. There we go. I couldn't see 'cause I had my notes to the side. I gotta keep notes. I have a DDI need some notes up in here. So I hope you enjoyed this podcast. And like I said, you have, you have the my email address. The email address fierce mama C at gmail that's in the podcast notes. So shoot me a note, say hi. The links to How to Work with me, ways to work with Me are always in the show notes. So check those out and say hi on YouTube. All right, Bibo boo, I love you. Are we gonna do, we're not gonna do, um, 'cause I think this is running long. How long is this? It doesn't say, I feel like this is long. So we're not gonna do affirmations this one, but I will try next time. Okay. Excuse me. Pardon me. Love you. So smooches and deuces. I will see you in the next episode.